


Can't Hide Forever

by stuff_and_nonsense



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-09-26 09:55:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 27,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9884756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuff_and_nonsense/pseuds/stuff_and_nonsense
Summary: After the prank where Snape finds Lupin as a werewolf, he doesn't keep quiet about what he's seen.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey look, I wrote something that's not porn!
> 
> This has been up on ffn for a while; figured I'd post it here too since I've pretty much entirely migrated over. With a few edits since my old writing made me twitch.

Remus woke up slowly, the black behind his eyelids fading to a grey blur. It seemed brighter than was usual on mornings like this one. He lay for a moment with his eyes shut, and became aware of the sound of voices in the next room. It meant something important, that there were people, but he couldn’t think what. His head felt full of cotton. He tried to think back, remembered vaguely anger and frustration, prey stolen from him. Human…he’d smelled human, much stronger than the usual taunting scent that always lingered from his entrance to the shack. A brief jolt of panic shot through him, but he tamped it down – he had to think first, figure out what had happened. He was gradually becoming aware of the pain, soreness everywhere, a brilliant sharpness in his arm and a stinging on his forehead. An interesting complement to his growing headache. 

Headaches meant escape attempts, running at the walls. The cut on his forehead would be from the same. The arm…gnawing maybe. It had happened before. His mouth was full of a familiar metallic taste, which supported that hypothesis. Unless…but he couldn't face that possibility. He remembered the wolf’s frustration so strongly, so the person must have gotten away, they must have. But what if he’d bitten them first, what if they knew who he was, and if they’d found him how could they not. Oh god what if it was Sirius or James, not transformed for some reason and what if he'd bitten them, what if he'd killed Sirius, he’s never understood how dangerous the wolf is… Panicking again. He had to stop, finish evaluating. Then maybe he could panic.

There was something that was different. What was the thing that was different? Voices, lights are too bright – he wasn’t in the Shack. Hospital wing? It had to be the hospital wing. Which meant he hadn’t woken up right away, so he must be rather badly injured. 

Eyes. Could he open his eyes? His eyelids felt crusted over, but he managed to get through. He squinted up at the ceiling of, yes, the hospital wing. A moment later a voice from next to him sent pain lancing through his head.

“Remus! Remus, you’re awake, thank fucking god. I’m so sorry Remus.” Sirius had no more of an inside voice than he ever did.

Remus tried to respond, “Too loud”, but all that came out was a croak. He screwed up his eyes, hoping that would get the message across. 

Sirius was still going. “…that git, I should have known he’d be such an idiot, I wish you had bit him, fucking bastard, I’ll…”

“Right, I let you stay until he woke up, now get out so I can treat my patient”, Madame Pomfrey’s sharp voice cut in.

Sirius’ voice got even louder in protest, but he inevitably lost the battle. A moment later, Remus felt a hand on the top of his head.

“Glad to see you awake, dear” said Madame Pomfrey. “You had me worried for a while there. You’ve lost a lot of blood. I’m going to lift your head up now and get you some water, alright?”

The pounding in his head increased again as he moved, but after the water his throat felt a thousand times better. “What happened?” he managed to rasp out.

“Your injuries are worse than usual. Your left arm’s been torn up pretty badly, but I’ll have it fixed up soon.”

“Someone was there…”

Madame Pomfrey paused, and with a slight catch in her voice said, “You didn’t hurt anyone. Don’t worry about the rest until you’re more recovered. I’m going to give you a Blood-Replenishing potion now, and then a sleeping draught so I can fix up that arm.”

Relief flooded through Remus at the news that no one else was hurt. But clearly something bad had happened – had he been exposed? He knew from long experience that he would get nothing else out of Madame Pomfrey, so he obediently took his potions and faded back into blackness.


	2. Chapter 2

When he woke again, the room was silent except for a distant shuffling sound. Every muscle ached, but aside from a muffled throbbing in his arm he now felt no worse than he usually did after a transformation. Remus opened his eyes and gingerly nudged himself upright with his good arm.

Almost immediately, the door to the hospital wing cracked open and Peter edged in. The shuffling noise had stopped – it must have been Peter pacing. James often got peeved at Peter’s habit of never really lifting his feet when he walked. 

Peter paused for a moment, standing uncertainly in the late afternoon sunlight that filtered through the window of the hospital wing, then walked over and sat on the bed next to Remus’, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his legs.

“I’m really glad you’re awake again,” he said. “I guess it was a bad one?”

Remus made a small neutral motion with his head. 

Peter continued: “Madame Pomfrey wouldn’t let us in while you were sleeping, mostly because Sirius wouldn’t settle down. We’ve been waiting outside in shifts. I should go get the others now.”

“Wait,” Remus rasped. Peter passed him the glass of water Madame Pomfrey had left by his bed. Remus drank deeply, and continued. “Something bad happened last night. I think…someone got in? I’d rather hear about it from you first.”

Peter winced, and Remus felt instantly guilty. But Peter was more likely to be able to get it out coherently than Sirius or James, given the way Sirius had been earlier.

“Well…” said Peter. “I guess Sirius and Snape were going at it again last night, and…and Sirius decided it would be funny to try and get Snape beat up by the Willow. Because Snape had been asking where you went all the time, and so Sirius told him if he wanted to find out he should go poke the knot on the Whomping Willow.”

That couldn't be right. Sirius was reckless, but he couldn't have done something that stupid. His incredulity must have shown on his face, because Peter hesitated.

“I guess he thought Snape wouldn’t actually be able to do it", he continued after a moment. He paused again, either unsure of what to say or reluctant to criticize his idol. Remus felt his disbelief die away, replaced by a hollow certainty.

“Sorry,” said Remus. “Did he then? Get in?”

Peter nodded. “He got into the tunnel. And— and James went after him and pulled him out but -" his voice dropped nearly to a whisper – “but he saw the wolf first. And I’d gone to get McGonagall and she got Dumbledore and we all went to his office and Snape too but-“

“Did I bite Snape?”

“No! You didn’t bite anyone. But- right after Snape and James got out, before Dumbledore could talk to him, Snape ran back to his room and woke everyone up and well…he told them what had happened.”

Remus wondered, later, if he should have been angry, or nervous, or hopeful that maybe people wouldn’t react as badly as they had in all his childhood nightmares. But he felt only a dull sense of descending fate, the hammer finally falling as he’d always known it would, as Peter said “And I guess they told more people in the morning. Uh…a lot of people were talking about it today.”

“So they all know what I am?” Remus asked.

Peter nodded miserably.

“I’m expelled then?”

“I don’t know. Dumbledore doesn’t want you to be He was saying all these things to Snape about how you had as much right to be here as anyone else. He was really angry too, that Snape had told – it was scary. Oh! He wants to talk to you. Dumbledore, I mean. He stopped by earlier while you were asleep and I heard him telling Madame Pomfrey.”

“Where is Madame Pomfrey?” It was unusual for her not to be around when he was here.

“She left a little while ago – someone came to get her for their friend who got jinxed.” Peter’s eyes widened. “Bugger, I hope it wasn’t Sirius. He kept picking fights when I was with him earlier.”

“Would you mind getting Sirius and James?” Remus asked. “I should talk to them too.” The guilty thought came that Sirius was maybe the last person he wanted to see right now. Right on its heels was the old worry that they wouldn’t want to see him either, that he shouldn’t be subjecting his friends to something like him, that they’d been faking tolerance the whole time out of guilt or saintliness. He forced both reservations down. The longer he put off talking to Sirius, the harder it would get. And they were friends. Every time Remus had doubted him, he’d been proven wrong. There must something he didn’t know about, some reason for what he'd done.

“Right!” said Peter. “I’ll go get them right away.” Remus smiled at him in thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

He spent the next few minutes doing a more thorough physical check – his arm was wrapped up, and not bleeding through the bandages; the cut on his forehead seemed to have been closed; nothing else seemed majorly wrong. Although the injuries had been worse than most recent transformations, they seemed to have been fixed up fairly easily. He was interrupted by Madam Pomfrey bursting through the door, literally dragging Sirius by his ear after her. 

She started in on Sirius as soon as the door had swung closed behind her, continuing even when James and then Peter came running in. 

“What on earth were you thinking, hexing another student that badly? When the boy can’t even walk to the hospital wing, it might be a sign that you’ve gone too far. And look at _you __! Have you been getting in fights all day? On the bed, _now_ , let me fix you up.”_

Sirius did look rough. One side of his face was swollen as if from a Stinging Hex, and his ears had been turned a brilliant shade of green. James too was sporting a spectacular black eye.

Sirius sat uncharacteristically still while Madam Pomfrey began to reverse the hexes. He still hadn’t looked at Remus. 

“Really though,” Pomfrey continued, “I don’t understand how you can think it’s alright to get in all these fights. Do you just-“

She was cut off by an outburst from Sirius. “So I’m just supposed to sit there while-! You didn’t hear what they were saying about Remus! It’s so unfair. I thought it was just my family who thought like that but-“ He wrenched away from Pomfrey’s ministrations, turned and kicked the bed he’d been sitting on.

“Mr. Black! Sit down immediately!” Madam Pomfrey sputtered, but it was only James who had any effect. He came over and put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder, muttering “Sirius, mate, calm down. Let’s make sure Remus knows what’s going on, ok.” 

“Right. Right,” agreed Sirius, sitting on the bed. He fidgeted, heel hammering against the floor.

“Do you know what happened?” James asked Remus. 

Remus nodded. “Peter told me.” He paused. “It’s bad then?”

James rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s pretty bad. I- People are awful, I’m so sorry, Remus…”

Remus forced down a wave of nausea. The panicked child at the back of his mind had started up again, hyperventilating about torches and pitchforks, and he fought to calm himself.

“Ok,” he breathed, and said more clearly. “It’s ok, it’s not their fault.” [ _they're coming for you._ said the child _they'll hunt you down._ ]

“It’s Snape’s fucking fault though!” burst out Sirius. “He must have known Dumbledore wouldn’t want him to tell, or he wouldn’t have run to Slytherin first thing. He’s been smirking all day, if James had let me near him I’d have punched the piece of shit so hard he-“

“Mr. Black,” cut in a kindly voice, “I think you’ve made your feelings on the matter quite clear.”

Sirius stopped abruptly. Dumbledore stood in the doorway, looking unusually grave. “How are you feeling, Mr. Lupin? Madam Pomfrey has given you her usual excellent care?”

“Yes, sir,” said Remus. “She has, of course. I’m feeling relatively well.”

“Glad to hear it,” said Dumbledore. “I’m also glad to see your friends around you. They’ve informed you, I assume, of the unfortunate events that happened last night?”

“Yes, sir,” Remus repeated. 

“Excellent, excellent. Then we can discuss.” He flicked his wand, and a set of padded chairs appeared around Remus’ bed. “Please, sit down everyone.”

The three boys and Madam Pomfrey dutifully took seats, and Dumbledore himself glided to a chair by Remus’ head. 

“First off, Mr. Lupin, I intend to do everything in my power to ensure you can continue at Hogwarts. Let me reiterate that you have the same right to be here as any young wizard, and that no good can come of denying you an education. If you do not believe this yourself, it will be a thousand times more difficult to convince others.”

Remus nodded. He did believe this, he realized. He had his perpetual doubts about whether it was safe for the other students to be around him, but these, like the panic, had faded considerably from when he’d first arrived. He knew that as a trained wizard, he’d be considerably more self-sufficient than as another desperate werewolf out on the streets. Surely that was better for wizarding society as a whole? He wondered sometimes if that belief came only from cowardice – maybe he was just trying to justify his own desire for a happier life. That desire wasn't inconsiderable – so close now to being a legally qualified wizard, he could barely face the thought of having it all ripped away. The balance was tipped by the knowledge that Dumbledore and McGonagall and Pomfrey and his friends – good, intelligent people- believed that he should be here.

But still…“I don’t think it’s possible though, for me to stay here,” he said. "The other students, the parents, the Ministry…there’s no way I’ll be allowed to remain. It might – I think it would be better if I leave now. For me and for you.”

“Nonsense,” replied Dumbledore. “I don’t deny it will be difficult, but only with such a pessimistic view is there truly no hope. We should go through the situation though, and make sure we’re all aware of what might happen.”

“The first hurdle,” he continued, “will be reassuring your classmates that you are the same person they have always known. This may, alas, be difficult in some cases. As I’m sure you're aware, the prejudices of childhood can endure in the face of all evidence to the contrary.”

“We can assume that some students will have already informed their parents of your condition, which may lead to the Ministry investigating. They have no power to expel you – only I can make that decision. I will do my best to reassure any concerned parents or Ministry representatives, but you should know that they may want to speak to you – and to the rest of you,” he added, looking around the room.

“In the worst case scenario, they decide to take legal action. This could come in the form of a criminal trial, for either of us, or of a hearing by the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures.”

There was a collective wince.

“If there’re going be a trial, I think it would be better if I just left now,” cut in Remus. “If I’m sent to Azkaban, or if they try to make you leave—my going now might help avoid that.”

“It might,” agreed Dumbledore, “but there’s no guarantee of that. It is of course your choice, but if you leave now, it will be seen as an admission that you were wrong to come. There’s a chance that far more good – for you and others like you – will come of you remaining.”

“He’s right,” added James. “You can’t just give them what they want! You have every right to be here. And besides,” he said with a small smile, “ you can’t break up the Marauders like that.”

Remus hoped they were right. The thought of leaving Hogwarts was like a punch to the gut, almost worse that his fears of what would happen if he remained. Surely, he thought, with his friends by his side, and with the support of Dumbledore, he could make it through whatever happened.

“I’ll stay,” he decided. “I want to try and stay.”

“Excellent!” said Dumbledore cheerfully. “We should first deal with the matter of returning you to classes.”

Remus drew a breath. The old nightmares flashed up again – going to a class where everyone knew what he was, feeling their fear and repulsion thick around him, hearing the whispered vitriol that slowly built to a roar as the class stood as one, surrounded him and pulled out their wands to chase away the beast that had dared to invade their school.

He shook it off again. Staying at Hogwarts would be a bit pointless if he never went to class. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t dealt with people’s reactions before. A part of him wanted to leave now, spare himself the pain before the inevitable expulsion. But it wasn’t inevitable, not at all. Dumbledore was on his side. He hadn’t even seemed to consider the option of Remus leaving immediately.

“I believe,” said Dumbledore, “it would be best for you to resume classes as soon as possible. If you’re feeling well enough, I think tomorrow would be best. If it becomes necessary, I can address the students, but I’d like to avoid that if possible. I think that would only lead to more unwelcome attention. I will speak to the staff though, and ask them to keep an eye out for you.”

“I’m pleased to see your friends have been leaping to your defense, although I must ask them to do so with more regard for the safety of themselves and their classmates.”

Madam Pomfrey snorted. 

Half a minute passed with no one speaking. Then Dumbledore rose.

“Well, Remus, unless you have any questions, I’ll leave you all to your rest and recuperation.”

“N-no. Thank you, Professor.” Remus managed. Dumbledore nodded with a sad smile, and swept from the room.

Madam Pomfrey immediately began bustling again. “Black, Potter, stay where you are.” She finished fixing both their injuries, muttering to herself all the while.

“Right, now everyone out,” she announced when she was done. “My patient needs to rest.”

“Madame Pomfrey, if it’s all right, could Sirius stay for a while? I need to talk to him,” said Remus.

She scowled. “Ten minutes, and then sleep. I’ll be in my office.” She walked from the room.

“It’ll be alright,” said James, smiling uncertainly. “We’ll watch out for you.” He and Peter began to head for the door. Peter turned just before they reached it, and said,

“I- I’m glad you’re alright. And they’ll understand, just like we did, I’m sure!” Then he and James were gone.

Sirius still sat in his chair, gone very still now. He stared fixedly at a point by Remus’ feet.

“He wouldn’t stop _asking_ ,” he said. “He just kept going on about where you went all the time, and were you off setting up for the stuff James and I got up to, and then he made some comment about the moon, it was like he knew already, and I got so pissed at him I just-”

“Stop,” Remus interrupted. “Please just stop.” Sirius seemed very far away. Remus wanted there to be more to it, some hidden reason for Sirius to have betrayed him like this, but he knew he wouldn't find one.

A long silence. Then Sirius: “I can leave. You shouldn’t have to deal with me anymore.”

The world cracked for a moment. Remus almost let him go.

“Please,” he managed just before Sirius reached the door. “Please don’t-“

Sirius froze, turned. Their eyes met for the first time that evening. A terrible certainty hit Remus. He would forgive this betrayal, forgive just about anything, if Sirius stayed in the room.

Sirius’ mouth moved, the words caught somewhere. He dropped into Padfoot, nestled underneath Remus’ bed, stayed there until morning. Miraculously, Remus slept well that night.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun through the window woke him the next morning. He slide out of bed, and shook Padfoot gently awake. The dog snorted softly, nuzzled Remus’ feet, and then slide smoothly into boy.

“Too early,” Sirius groaned.

The corners of Remus’ mouth twitched into not-quite-a-smile. He eased himself onto the floor next to his friend.

“It’s good,” he said. “We need to get back to the room before everyone wakes up.”

“Moony, why must you be so cruelly practical? Coast through life unworried, revel in the havoc! By havoc, of course, I mean sleep.”

_Because not worrying about what you do is working out so well_ , Remus though, but stifled the words before they reach his lips. Instead, he seized the back of Sirius’ shirt and hauled.

“C’mon, Padfoot” he said. “Think of it as an adventure.”

“It can’t count as an adventure until at least noon.” grumbled Sirius as he stood. They departed.  
\--------------------------------------------------  
Thankfully, the common room was empty when they entered. Sirius continued to the dormitory the four Marauders shared with two other sixth-year boys, probably to fall asleep again. Remus went to take a much-needed shower. 

He was careful to keep his still bandaged arm out of the water. He dressed in the shower stall, and then went to the mirror to check his forehead. Only a thin red line remained. He suspected it came from smashing his head against the walls in his escape attempts, not directly from the wolf, so it should fade away soon. Still, even a day with a visible mark of violence was only going to make this harder. 

He turned to go to the dormitory. The bathroom door swung open just as he stepped towards it. He barely jumped out of the way, but smashed into the boy entering.

“Shit, sorry,” said Anthony Morris, one of Remus’ roommates. He stepped backward when he saw who he’d bumped into.

_Here it comes_ , thought Remus.

Anthony seemed uncertain. He was still between Remus and the door. Finally, he said, “You came back then. Nobody was sure if you would.”

Remus nodded. 

“Is it true? That you’re…”

Remus swallowed, then nodded again.

He could see the wheel spinning on Anthony’s face, the reaction lottery that happened every time. The needle landed on revulsion. Remus swore silently.

“How can they let you go here?” Anthony asked.

“Dumbledore believes it’s safe. There’s a house I go to every month, out of the castle.”

“Yeah, well, what about the rest of the time? I’ve been sharing a room with you for six years, and suddenly it turns out you’re not even human! You’ve been lying to us this whole time.”

Remus stepped backward. “I’m sorry. I- I had to.”

“What, they dragged you here by your tail?” Anthony spat.

“N- no, but I need an education. I-“

“So you put the rest of us in danger? I hope you don’t think you’re sleeping in the same room as me anymore, werewolf.”

“I can go somewhere else, I’ll find somewhere. But please-“

The bathroom door opened again. James entered, eyes half closed and hair, remarkably, more tousled than usual. He snapped to alertness when he saw the expression on Remus’ face. 

“Everything all right?” he asked.

Anthony answered first. “You know what he is, right?”

“You mean one of my best friends?” said James.

“Don’t play stupid, Potter. I don’t get why you’re not bothered, but I don’t want it sleeping next to me.”

James’ face hardened. “All of us in the room can talk after classes today. In the meantime, why don’t you go fuck yourself?” He turned to Remus. “I’ll be ready for breakfast in a few minutes. Wanna make sure Pads and Wormtail are up?”

“Sure.” Remus managed. “We’ll meet you in the room.” He escaped from the bathroom, and paused for a moment just outside to breath and still his trembling limbs.


	5. Chapter 5

Peter was up. Sirius had fallen fully clothed onto the bed and was snoring loudly. Their sixth roommate, Frank Longbottom, was already gone.

Remus dressed in silence and packed his school bag. He turned to Peter, who was also ready now, and hiked a thumb at Sirius.

“Think we could just levitate him down to breakfast?”

“The smell of food will definitely wake him up better than we could,” Peter answered with a grin.

Eventually James came back from the bathroom, damp-haired and glowering, and woke Sirius by conjuring a jet of water at his face. The four of them left the room and began heading down to the Great Hall. The common room was mostly empty, as were the corridors. Almost everyone was already at breakfast. James and Sirius, as usual, chatted loudly as they walked, and Remus hung next to Peter just behind them.

They reached the Gryffindor table with no incidents. Their seats were empty – the Marauders sat in the same place at every meal. After a few oustings by James and Sirius years ago when they couldn’t find four chairs together, people knew to leave their spots open. The rest of the table was crowded with students eating breakfast and chatting.

The four boys took their seats are at the far end of the table, James and Sirius on one side, and Remus and Peter opposite them. Most people were too engrossed in breakfast to have paid attention to their entrance. Remus silently prayed it would stay that way, and made sure to look only at his food and at the faces of his friends.

The post owls swooped in with a great rustle. James received a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ , as he did every morning. An owl came for Sirius as well. The letter was no more than a single sheet of parchment, no envelope or postage. Sirius’ face grew darker as he read it. He tossed the paper on the table for them all to see.

_Sirius,_

_I thought it would be easier to tell you this in a letter, instead of finding a place to meet. I’m sure you’ve heard by now that the Lupin boy you hang around with is a werewolf. Narcissa mentioned it in her letter to Aunt Druella last night, so Mother will certainly know by now. I’m worried that she’ll be angry with you, for treating a dark creature as a friend. Of course you must not have known what he was before now, and I'm sure you've already cut things off with him. I just wanted to let you know that I'll back you up if Mother doesn’t believe you didn't know.  
I hope you're well. _

_Sincerely,  
Regulus_

Sirius was still glowering, and seemed to be deliberating something. He stood abruptly, knocking over his chair. He stormed off, making a beeline for the Slytherin table.

“Sirius, wait,” James called after him, with no effect.

Remus stood and ran after Sirius, grabbing the other boy’s shoulder to stop him. He tried not to think about the hundreds of other eyes in the room.

“What are you doing, Padfoot?” he said softly. “Don’t make a scene, all right?”

“I’ll damn well make a scene if I want to, Remus!” Sirius said loudly. He turned again, and came face to face with Regulus, who had risen to meet them.

“You’ll want to let go of my brother, werewolf,” said Regulus, looking at Remus’ hand still on Sirius’ shoulder. Remus dropped his hand instantly, and took a small step backwards.

“And you’ll want to watch your tone with my friend, Reg,” snapped Sirius.

Regulus looked confused. “You haven’t heard? What he is?”

“I’ve known since second year,” said Sirius coldly.

“But…How could you not say anything? What if you'd been bitten?” Regulus’ expression shifted from confusion to worry. He spoke quietly now. “Mother really isn’t going to be happy... You should be careful - I think she might do something drastic if you have another big fight. I could maybe still back you up, if you distance yourself from him now...”

“Mother and I disagree on a lot of things, because a prejudiced harpy. I’m not abandoning my friend to make her happy.” Sirius threw an arm over Remus’ shoulders and spun them both around, walking back to the Gryffindor table as most of the hall watched.  
\-------------------------------------------------  
As soon as they’d hit the table again, Remus said to Sirius, “You really didn’t have to do that.”

“If you say you’re not worth it, Moony, I swear I’ll tear you a new one.”

“Forgive me, Sirius, but I’ve met your mother, and she’s not someone I want to cross.” Remus remembered the humiliating visit of Walburga Black to his parents’ house. She’d invited herself there, as well as to James’s and Peter’s homes, for what they all knew was an inspection of Sirius’s friends, an inspection he’d resoundingly failed. He thought also of the things Sirius has told only him, things about his worst moments - punishments for crimes much less that that of tainting himself by associating with a werewolf.

“She could make life really difficult for you,” Remus continued. “If avoiding me, even just publicly, could spare you that…”

“Don’t you remember anything from when we found out about you? I’m never going to abandon you over this!”

“It’s different now though - now that people know-”

“I don’t care! You’re my friend and you’re one of the best people I know, and if being friends with you means my family gets their pureblood panties in a knot, well, my family can go fuck themselves.” He glowered again. “Eat your breakfast Moony.”

“Right. You too. Don’t take all the jam this time, please,” sputtered Remus. He was deeply uneasy, worried for Sirius, but he couldn’t help the smile of relief and wonder bursting through at the corners of his mouth.


	6. Chapter 6

They went off to Transfiguration, saying goodbye to Peter, who had dropped the subject after his barely passing OWL. In the now-crowded hallways, Remus was conscious of the looks he was receiving – mostly curiosity, some fear—and the whispers that followed them. He was again grateful to be travelling in a group. They reached the classroom, and James and Sirius headed for the desk in the back they always shared. The whispers and looks that sprung up at Remus’ entrance quickly faded away as the two black-haired boys glowered at the other students. Remus’ usual partner, Lily Evans, was already seated. 

“Mind if I join you, Lily?” asked Remus as he reached the desk.

“We’ve been sitting together all year,” she replied. “Why on earth would I mind now?”

Remus smiled weakly and gratefully, and began to pull out his wand and textbook. As he did, Rosalind Axel, another girl in their year, came over and whispered something in Lily’s ear.

“Thanks, Rosa, I had heard. I really don’t see why everyone’s so worked up about it.” Lily said aloud. She turned away, and flipped through her textbook until Professor McGonagall came in.

The rest of the class went normally, with everyone straining silently at their non-verbal spells. They were turning scraps of parchment into butterflies. Sirius, as usual, got it halfway through and somehow made a butterfly the size of a throw pillow. It landed on Rosalind’s head, causing her to panic until Professor McGonagall vanished it and gave Sirius detention.

Lily got a butterfly a few minutes later, and spent the rest of the time working on turning it different colors. Remus was sweating from the effort by then. His crippled butterflies were staggering sadly around the table. He gave it one more burst, and his parchment flapped its wings and fluttered upwards. He sighed in relief; it was a drab brown, but unmistakably a butterfly. He relaxed enough to talk quietly with Lily. 

On to Defense against the Dark Arts. Remus sat down next to James. The boy on his other side fidgeted nervously for a minute, then got up to talk to a friend. When he sat down again, it was at a different desk. The class went well enough. Professor Maitland had them pair up and practice together. The four friends generally rotated who worked with whom in this class, and Remus was with James today.

As they are about to leave, Professor Maitland called out, “Remus, a word?” Maitland was one of the most enthusiastic men Remus had ever met – generally competent at explaining the coursework, and an understanding teacher, but exhaustingly excitable, to the extent that he came off a little flighty.

Remus walked to the front as the rest of the class left. He hoped Sirius, James, and Peter will wait for him outside. “Yes, Professor?” he said.

“Headmaster Dumbledore told the staff yesterday that you’re a werewolf,” said Maitland.

The bottom dropped out of Remus’ stomach. “I- yes Professor, I am, but Dumbledore’s known all year, we take safety precautions, I swear I would never hurt anyone…”

Professor Maitland held up a hand to stop him. To Remus’ astonishment, he was grinning broadly. “Remus, why are you so upset? This is excellent! I’ll be teaching the third years about werewolves later in the year, and information on them is so unreliable. I want to ask if you would help me go through it.”

“What?” sputtered Remus.

“Where else am I going to actually find a werewolf to ask about this? The accounts are sometimes directly contradictory; it’s a disgrace. Does silver bother you or not? Maybe you could even address the class, they could hear firsthand, it would be a fantastic opportunity…”

He paused for breath. Remus held a stunned silence for a moment, then broke into helpless, hysterical laughter. It was several minutes before he could breathe again. Professor Maitland looked utterly mystified.

“I’m sorry Professor,” he managed. “That’s just…not a reaction I’ve ever gotten before. I was afraid you were going to attack me.”

“Attack you? Why on earth-?” Maitland looked suddenly crestfallen. “I guess people don’t always react well at all, do they? I’m terribly sorry, I really don’t see why they don’t see what a wonder you are! There are so few werewolves in England, and even fewer who will admit to it. But I guess I really can’t blame them…Anyway, what do you say to my proposal?”

“I- I could go through the material with you, and tell you what parts are wrong. I don’t think I’d be comfortable with much more than that.”

“Yes, of course, whatever you’re comfortable with.” The professor paused, suddenly awkward. “I should have realized, you might not want to talk about it.”

Remus was much more comfortable discussing his condition than he’d once been, but it was still the very last thing he wanted to talk about.

“In the spring, though, before I teach the unit, maybe you could come by my office and we could go through the material?”

“I don’t know if I’ll still be here in the spring, Professor.”

“Why not? Are you planning on dropping out?”

Remus fought down a surge of frustration. Professor Maitland doesn’t mean badly, he reminded himself. In his life, he’d had so many thoughtless questions thrown at him. He’d learned long ago that staying patient and answering them was by far the safest thing to do. His father had drilled him before visits to the Ministry, where a badge marked him as a werewolf – speak clearly, move calmly, be careful not to touch anyone, watch people for signs of danger, and never, ever get angry.

“I’m not sure yet if I’ll be allowed to stay,” he answered. “Not all the other students are comfortable with me here, and if their parents go to the Ministry, legal action might be taken against me. It’s very likely, actually.”

Maitland looked abashed. “I’m sorry, Remus, I should have realized. If it would help, I can speak in your favor, you’re an excellent student…” He perked up. “Would you be able to come in this Saturday to talk? I should be able to pull most of my notes together by then. How about 1?”

“I could do that,” said Remus.

“Excellent, excellent!” enthused Professor Maitland. “I’ll see you then. Will you be on time to your next class? I can give you a note, let the professor know I held you up.”

“I think I have time to get there. Thank you though,” answered Remus. “I’ll see you on Saturday.”


	7. Chapter 7

Out in the hallway, he found his friends waiting for him. Together, they hurried to Charms. They were almost late; the class looked up as they entered. Remus flinched as he saw the faces again. The four boys went to their desks in the back, and the class proceeded normally. 

The next real problem came just before they reached the great hall for lunch. A group of Slytherin boys was waiting for them. ( _No, for you_ ,) Remus reminded himself. But maybe not entirely – James and Sirius had fought with this group before. Rosier, Mulciber, and Avery – he should have seen this coming.

“Snape had some interesting news the other night,” sneered Rosier. 

“Yeah?” returned Sirius, sneering almost as much. “Where is the little git? Haven’t seen him since yesterday. Still pissing himself in terror?” 

“You’ve got a lot of gall. You’re the one who almost got him killed, you mad bloodtraitor.” 

Sirius snarled and raised his wand; Remus grabbed his arm and held him back. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Peter trying to similarly restrain James. 

Rosier scoffed and turned to Remus. “Smart move, half-breed,” he said. “You’re the one we wanted to talk to.” Remus didn’t reply. “I just wanted to let you know, that if you’re really so smart you’ll start packing your bags. My father’s been talking to Walburga Black and some other wizards who are planning to go to the Ministry tomorrow. Whether Dumbledore cooperates or not, they’ll have you dragged out of here within the month. You’ll save everyone a lot of trouble if you head home now.” 

“He’s not going _anywhere_!” spat Sirius. His muscles tensed in Remus’ grip. 

Rosier raised an eyebrow. “If you say so, Black. You know, I really don’t understand how you can bear to let it touch you.” 

Wand forgotten, Sirius roared and charged forward, swinging at Rosier’s face and connecting with a sickening crack. Mulciber stepped forward and sent out a stunning spell, which James deflected with a shield charm. Remus lunged forward and pulled Sirius back again with all his strength. Rosier was bleeding from the nose. Remus threw up a shield charm between the two groups and held it there. 

“We don’t want trouble, all right?” he said. “We’re just going to go to lunch now. He glared at his friends until they reluctantly moved towards the Great Hall, then followed them, holding the shield until they were almost at the door. Behind them, Mulciber and Avery were smirking, while Rosier held his bleeding nose and glared. 

Remus held it in until they’d sat down at their house table. “What the hell were you _thinking_?” he finally burst out. 

“Are you kidding me, Moony?” asked Sirius. “Did you hear anything that piece of shit said?” 

“Sirius, if you attack everyone who says something nasty about me, you’ll be expelled, and I’ll get it even worse for the attention.” 

“So what, I should just let him say it?” 

“Yes,” said Remus, quietly and urgently. “You let him say it, and you walk away. Look, some people will come around, but if we’re fighting all the time it’ll be a lot fewer.” 

“You think Rosier’s going to _come around_?” 

“Of course not. But even for people like him, getting angry only makes it worse.” 

“Or you jinx him into a puddle, and then he leaves you alone.” 

“No. Sirius, you’ve got to listen to me. When werewolves jinx people into puddles, we get executed without trial.” 

“But it wouldn’t be you doing it…” 

“It doesn’t matter. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but if people are looking at the son of Orion Black and at me and deciding who to blame, it’s not going to be you. Please. I’m grateful you want to help, but the best way you can do that is by letting this go, this and anything like it.” 

Sirius nodded reluctantly. 

James chipped in. “At least it’ll probably get better soon. We were awful at first too, when we found out.” He cocked his head. “Except Sirius, I guess. A lot of people will just need some time to get used to the idea." 

“Not Rosier though,” Peter added. “Rosier’s just awful." 

Remus turned to Sirius again. “Please. You’re my best friend, I know that. I need you to promise me you won’t attack anyone.” 

Sirius looked away. “Alright,” he said finally, looking back at Remus. “I promise.” 

“Thank you,” said Remus. He turns to James and Peter. “You too?” 

“Right, because we all know Peter won’t be able to keep his hands off Rosier,” said James. “I promise not to do anything dumb.” 

“Peter?” continued Remus. “Can you contain your massive violent urges?” 

“Barely,” said Peter, “but I’ll manage somehow.” 


	8. Chapter 8

After lunch, the boys went down to Herbology together. They split up afterwards for the first time. Remus had Arithmancy, and the other three had a break period. They walked him to the door of the Arithmancy classroom.

“Sure you don’t want us to come with you?” asked James. “We could hide under the desks, Professor Sephos would never notice.”

Remus grinned. “He’s not quite so blind yet. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you right after.” Despite his words, his stomach lurched uneasily as he entered the classroom.

The class was quite small – not many people were interested in NEWT-level Arithmancy. Of the seven students, only two were already there- a Slytherin boy, Lawrence Deaver, and a Ravenclaw girl, Darcy Yorke. Lawrence scowled as Remus came in, and Darcy looked nervous. Remus flushed and took a seat near the door. He remembered with a stab of dread that Anthony was in this class.

A few other students came in, including Anthony, who took a desk as far from Remus as he could. Lily Evans arrived a minute later, and sat down next to Remus.

“I don’t think you want to sit there, Evans,” said Anthony loudly.

“And why is that?” snapped Lily.

“You haven’t heard yet? Lupin’s..." he dropped his voice to a stage whisper, "... _a werewolf_.”

“People seem awfully concerned about telling me that today,” Lily said, and turned away from Anthony, who didn’t respond.

“Thanks,” Remus said to Lily, out of the corner of his mouth. 

“For what, not avoiding you? You know, I’ve known for years.”

“You have?” Remus started. “But you didn’t-“

“I didn’t say anything because it was none of my business. But you were sick so often, and the four of you would get so dodgy when I asked about it, I figured something strange was going on. Severus guessed it too, and he’d go on to me about it. I always told him he was being silly because he obviously didn’t mean well, but it did seem like the most likely explanation. I just don’t see why everyone’s being so horrible. It’s not weirder than anything else about magic, and it's not like you’re any different most of the time.”

“People who were raised in the wizarding world don’t see it that way. My mom – she’s Muggle-born too – never understood it either. I think part of it is that wizards know magical creatures are real, and often dangerous, so when they know someone is one part of the time it’s hard to think of them as human even when they look like they are.”

“That’s terrible though. You’re obviously human.”

“I’m not, though. I’m a half-breed, and legally I’m classified as a Beast. I can’t blame people for being uncomfortable.”

“Of course you can!” snorted Lily. “It’s not like it’s something you chose, and unless you’re wandering around loose on the full moon, you’re really not hurting anyone.”

“I know. I’m really glad you feel that way,” Remus answered. “But not everyone sees that if their parents have been talking about werewolves as animals their whole lives. And a lot of werewolves aren’t as concerned as they should be about protecting people from themselves.”

He was interrupted by the arrival of Professor Sephos. After class, he and Lily met James, Sirius, and Peter, and they walked down to dinner together. The stares and whispers were still going strong, and one girl – she looked like a first year - actually jumped back when she saw him. He felt a twinge of guilt as he noticed that Peter and Lily were obviously uncomfortable with the attention paid to their group, although James and Sirius seemed totally unconcerned. 

James, at least, was obviously preoccupied by the unexpected presence of Lily – his rate of hair-mussing had skyrocketed.

“Hey Peter, I think there’s something on your face,” he said loudly.

“Huh?”

“Yeah, it’s huge! Did you get splashed in Potions or something? That’s got to be what everyone’s been staring at.”

“I – haven’t had Potions today… What’s wrong with my face?” Peter asked nervously.

Remus heard Lily huff impatiently besides him, and cut in.

“Your face is fine, Peter. Knock it off, James.”

“I’m serious, it’s bloody enormous…”

Sirius grinned wickedly. “Hey Evans, you know what else is enormous?”

Remus sighed as Lily marched away. He really did enjoy her company. He’d seen much more of her since she stopped spending time with Snape last year. Although she mainly hung out with some of the other sixth year girls, Rosa and Alice, she and Remus often worked together. James and Sirius gave him hell about it, of course. This was one of the few times she’d stayed around once his other friends had shown up, and he couldn’t really blame her for not doing so more often.

“I was going to say Prong’s head,” muttered Sirius, looking insincerely crestfallen.


	9. Chapter 9

After dinner, Sirius went off to a detention with McGonagall for the giant butterfly, and the others headed towards the Gryffindor common room. Anthony was sitting by the fire.

“Do you want to talk some sense into him now?” James asked Remus, gesturing at Anthony. 

Remus shook his head. “Let’s wait for Sirius and Frank, talk all together. I’m going to go work in the room.” He was uncomfortably aware that the longer they stood there, the more eyes turned towards them. 

James and Peter agreed to join him there. The other students watched them as they walked towards the boy’s dormitory. Remus brushed someone’s knee as he passed through the crowded room; the other boy inhaled sharply and pulled away. 

It was a relief to finally be back in their room, alone with James and Peter. They worked for a few hours, joking around less than usual, until Sirius burst in. 

“Got you all something!” he said, and threw a pile of cookies down in front of them.

“Weren’t you in detention?” asked Remus.

“Doesn’t mean I can stop by the kitchens on my way back. How’s my favorite werewolf holding up?”

“Pretty well, actually.” He wasn’t lying. Years ago, exposure like this would have left him a terrified, humiliated mess – he wouldn’t have lasted the day. But although it had been anything but easy to see people’s reactions, having his friends by him had made this a thousand times better than he’d ever dreamed.

“Are you up for talking to Anthony now?” asked James. “We should probably get it over with.”

“Yes, I guess so,” agreed Remus. “If I need to change sleeping arrangements, better to find out now than in the middle of the night.”

“But you won’t,” said Sirius fiercely, “because Morris is going to stop being a twat if I have to feed his intestines to weasels first.”

“Not going to help you with that one, mate,” said James. “Let’s go get him and Frank.” He and Sirius disappeared into the common room. Remus tried to clear most of their mess of homework and cookies off the floor so they’d have a place to talk, and then moved away from the door and tried to look nonthreatening. Peter continued to puzzle over his Charms essay, hurriedly shoving it behind him when the door opened.

Sirius came in first, followed by Frank, and then a sullen Anthony, with James bringing up the rear. The six boys sat together on the floor.

“So,” James said. “I’m sure you’ve both heard by now about Remus’ condition. We just wanted to make sure we’re all ok, and that you’re not going to make trouble for him.”

“Make sure you’re not going to be gits,” Sirius growled.

“So it’s true, then?” Frank addressed Remus. “You’re a werewolf?”

Remus nodded.

“I thought maybe it was just the Slytherins making shit up. They’re saying you almost killed someone.”

“I – it’s true,” Remus said quietly. “There's a place off the grounds where I go to transform. Severus Snape found his way in two nights ago.”

“There’ve been all kinds of stories. I’ve heard that one, but people are also saying you were loose on the grounds, you told him to meet you there, he went to try and kill you…”

Remus blanched. “It wasn’t deliberate, I swear. I had no idea he – _anyone_ would be able to get in.”

Sirius spoke up. “It was my fault. I was arguing with Snape, and I accidentally told him where to find Remus. Remus has done _nothing_. He didn’t choose this, and he would never deliberately hurt anyone.”

“How do you accidentally tell someone where to find a werewolf?” snapped Anthony.

“I- the entrance is hard to get to, and I was angry and thought it would be a laugh to see him try. I never thought he would actually make it.”

“But still, you told him where the entrance was?” asked Frank. Sirius nodded glumly. Frank’s expression hardened, and he turned to address the group. 

“And – did you all know? And you managed to hide it? For how long?”

Remus answered him. “I’ve been a werewolf since before I came to Hogwarts. Dumbledore knew when he admitted me here – he set up the place for me to transform. Some of the other staff know too, but none of the students were meant to. Sirius, James, and Peter figured it out in second year.”

Frank was quiet for a minute, and then asked, “What’s it like? Being a werewolf, I mean?”

“I don’t really remember what it’s like to be anything else. I was bitten when I was very young. The transformations … they hurt a lot, and then I don’t remember much until the morning. The rest of the time, I can sort of feel the wolf in the back of my mind, like an itch, but mostly my mind is like anyone else’s, as far as I know.”

“So you don’t…”, Frank laughed uncomfortably, “I don’t know, want to eat people or anything like that?”

“No, of course not!” Remus flushed. “The wolf does, but except for the full moons, I’m in control of it. I would never intentionally hurt anyone.”

Frank looked thoughtful again, and said after a moment, “I believe you.” A gush of relief welled up in Remus’ chest. Frank continued, “I can’t say I’m comfortable with it, but you’ve been here for years without anyone getting hurt. And the thing that just happened – that I’m _really_ not comfortable with, but it doesn’t sound like it can be considered your fault.” He smiled slightly. “Actually, the whole ‘living with a werewolf’ thing is kind of cool.”

“Well, I’m not ok with it,” spat Anthony. “I don’t think it’s safe for you to be here, I don’t want to be around you, and I don’t think Dumbledore should be exposing students to a Dark Creature.”

“Maybe you should just leave then!” snapped Sirius. “We all know Remus is twice the person you are.”

“So I guess you just all gang up on me until I agree to be friends with him?”

“No!” Remus cut in. “If you don’t want anything to do with me, that’s fine. I understand. But I’m going to try and stay at Hogwarts as long as I can, so we need to figure out an arrangement.”

“I want you out of my room. Can that be the arrangement?”

Frank put a hand on Anthony’s shoulder, got halfway through a “calm down” before Anthony shrugged him off angrily.

“Well, I might be able to go somewhere else, the hospital wing or something,” said Remus. “I could talk to Dumbledore, but-“

“Remus, shut up,” interrupted James. “You’re not going to move into the hospital wing, that’s ridiculous.”

“I’ll leave, then,” said Anthony. “If you’re all so attached to the werewolf. I’ve got friends in 5th year and I think they’ve got a room with just three people. Maybe I could move in with them.”

“We could ask McGonagall about it,” said Remus, “that sounds like it could be possible. But is there any way I can convince you to stay? I’ll answer any questions you have, and I promise, I don't want to hurt anyone. If there’s any way I can show that…”

“It’s not really about what you want though, is it? You can’t change what you are. I’m going to talk to McGonagall now.” He walked out, slamming the door behind him.

“Are you all right, Remus?” asked Peter. “Sorry that didn’t go better.”

“Yeah, hopefully he’ll come around,” added Frank. “I’m going to head back down to the common room- I’ll see you all later.”

“Thanks, Frank,” said Remus. “It means a lot – how well you’re taking this.” And then with a small smile to Peter: “I’m fine, thanks. How’s the Charms essay going?”

“Hey Prongs, have any dungbombs left?” asked Sirius loudly. “I think the 5th year boys’ room could use a few.”

“You can’t be that straightforward, Sirius,” answered James. “Haven’t you learned anything here?”

The two of them spent the next few hours plotting against Anthony, while Remus and Peter worked and occasionally chipped in. Remus figured he should throw the wet blanket on eventually, although plotting was much better than punching people for him - but there would be plenty of time for that. After Frank returned for bed, the four friends wrapped it up and also went to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

When Remus woke, Anthony’s things were gone. His bed had vanished too, and the five remaining ones were spaced evenly across the room. Remus was impressed the house-elves had managed that without waking any of the boys. Not that much would have woken him. He was still somewhat tired from the recent transformation, and the loyalty of his friends had minimized any uneasiness in his sleep.

The morning passed without incident. Remus stuck close to his friends again. He received a lot of nervous looks, and was careful to avoid bumping other students in the hallways, but no one confronted him openly. His first class in the afternoon was Care of Magical Creatures. He was alone for this one, but the students were kept busy enough with individual work that it didn’t much matter, although the others did keep a subtle distance from him as they all stood for the lecture at the beginning.

Walking back to the castle afterwards, the small group of returning Gryffindors, with Remus hanging at the back, passed a clump of Slytherin students on their way down to class. A moment later, Remus felt something nudging at his hand. He looked down; it was a small paper airplane, like those he’d seen flying around the Ministry of Magic during his visits as a child. He took hold of the paper, and as he did its motion stopped. Remus slipped it into his bag to look at once he got back to the castle.

He had a break period next, but he couldn’t read it there. If a note had been sent to him in this odd way, it was probably intended to be private. He’d be joining the other three Marauders for the break, and nothing was private with Sirius around. He decided to slip off to the bathroom before meeting his friends.

A few minutes later, safely inside a restroom stall, he unfolded the paper. The message was short:

_We need to talk. Meet me tonight at 8 in the Owlery. Come alone – Regulus Black_

Why would Regulus Black want to talk to him? There were only two plausible options: it was a trap, or it was about Sirius. Should he go? It was an odd place for an ambush – dueling in a room full of panicked owls could only end badly. They might jump him on the way there, though… But if Regulus really did want to talk, Remus felt he owed him at least that much. At breakfast, he’d seemed to be genuinely concerned about his brother. And probably with good reason, knowing the Black family. _You’re more worried about him being in danger from his parents than from running around with a slavering monster every month?_ added Remus’ inner voice. Nevertheless, Sirius’ parents might be a real problem.

Speaking of parents, Remus realized with a jolt that his mother and father probably still didn’t know what had happened. He needed to write to them. And if he was sending a letter anyway, well, he might as well do it at 8.

\---------------

He arrived early, just in case it was a trap, but found Regulus already there. The other boy started when Remus came in, but quickly regained his composure. His face stiffened into the all-too-familiar pureblood mask. Only his eyes, moving a little too quickly, betrayed his nervousness.

When Regulus said nothing, Remus moved towards one of the school owls perched by the wall. It edged away from him, as most animals did in the days soon before and after the full moon, but he calmed it and tied the note to his father to the owl’s foot.

He would need to pass Regulus to reach the window. The other boy seemed to realize this, and stepped aside to make room. Remus walked carefully past him, and released the bird into the night. He was no longer between Regulus and the exit, which would hopefully make this less nerve-wracking for the pureblood. Remus watched the owl fly off, took a deep breath, and turned to face Regulus.

“I appreciate that I’m not being jumped right now, but since it seems like you actually wanted to talk to me, can I ask what about?”

“About Sirius,” Regulus said bitterly. “What else?” He paused, and the pureblood mask set more firmly. “You need to stay away from him.”

Remus swallowed, forced himself to look at Regulus’ eyes. “That’s not something I can do.”

“You don’t understand. It’s your fault he’s like this!” As he spoke, Regulus became more and more hysterical. “He wasn’t – before he came to Hogwarts, he was good. Not entirely – he’d get in trouble sometimes, but not much more than I did. And we were friends, and our parents didn’t—But then he left for school, and when he came back he was like a different person. It gets worse every time he comes home. He fights with our parents, he torments the house-elves, he says these crazy things, he won’t talk to me…I didn’t know what had happened, I thought it was being in Gryffindor, but it must be you!

“I-“

“Do you know what our parents are going to do to him? Next time he comes home?”

“I don’t.” said Remus quietly. “He never tells me what they do. He just comes back with nightmares for a month.”

“What have you been telling him?” yelled Regulus. Around them, owls panicked. “You’ve done something, you’ve made him crazy, tell me!” He grabbed Remus’ collar, shoved him backward. “Why would he be friends with you, why would he even tolerate you?”

“I don’t know,” said Remus. “I never thought he would. I know I’m a monster, and I’ve never understood why he didn't care. But he didn’t, from the moment he told me he knew. I haven’t done anything to him, I swear.”

Regulus had stepped back; he seemed oddly collapsed inward. After a long silence, he muttered, “I think they’re going to disown him. Father’s threatened it before, and something like this…I can’t lose my brother, and I can’t let that happen to him!"

Remus’ guts wrenched. Disowned…? “I’m sorry. I don’t know how much I can do. I doubt he’ll agree to this, and even if he did…. I don’t know if I can do this without him. He and James and Peter are the only reason I haven’t left already.”

Regulus bent to one knee, the self-loathing on his face clearly evident as he did. “Please. At least publicly, stay away from Sirius. If you’re really his friend, you’ll do it, to protect him.”

Remus closed his eyes, thought of Sirius’ face when he spoke about him family, the sudden rages, the shaking in the middle of the night, his head full of terrors he would never tell anyone about.

He nodded.

“I’ll do my best.”

Regulus stood slowly, let out a long breath of relief. As he pulled himself together, the mask returned as if it had never gone.

“Good,” he said coldly. “Hopefully we won’t have to speak again.” He spun on his heel and strode away.


	11. Chapter 11

Remus walked slowly back to the dorm, happy that the hallways were empty at this time of night. Not so the Gryffindor common room – it was crowded with students doing homework and chatting. There was a perceptible drop in noise level as he entered. Remus straightened his back and tried to ignore the furtive looks that followed him as he made his way up to the dormitory. He found his three friends there, unusually quiet. Peter was bent over an essay, looking like he wanted to disappear into it. James was tossing balls of paper in the air and shooting them at the wall with his wand, a scrunched expression on his face like he had a headache. Sirius was also writing an essay, pressing his quill hard into the paper. The first thing Remus heard when he entered was Sirius’ loud expletive as he broke its point.

The second was a greeting from Peter, a “hello” that sounded almost relieved.

“Hello,” returned Remus. “How’s the Charms paper going?”

Peter shrugged. Sirius swore again.

“Could I talk to Sirius alone for a moment?"

“Knock yourself out,” muttered James, igniting the ball of paper he’d just tossed. Remus knew better than to ask what had happened, with everyone in a mood like this, and besides, it was more important right now to talk to Sirius. The longer he thought about it, the surer he became – he had to convince the other boy to stay away from him.

Peter hurriedly gathered up his books, and the two boys left the dormitory.

Remus looked at Sirius, who was now sitting on his bed, looking utterly desolate. Remus’ first instinct was to reassure his friend, to let him know that he couldn’t be angry with him. Sirius’ initial acceptance, more immediate and full than Remus had ever dreamed was possible, and the depth of their friendship made Remus feel that it would be nearly impossible for Sirius to do anything he couldn’t look past. It wasn’t that he forgave Sirius, exactly, it was just that it didn’t matter. He felt vaguely ashamed – was he really that weak and dependent?

But he needed to lose Sirius’ friendship, he reminded himself. Reassuring him that it was intact was not the way to do that.

Sirius had not moved or spoken since James and Peter had left, despite Remus’ hesitation. Remus gathered his courage.

“Your brother asked to talk to me, earlier today.”

“Did he really not have a cleverer way to try and lure you into a trap?”

“It wasn’t a trap. He-“

“You went? Are you crazy?”

“It wasn’t a trap. He really just wanted to talk.”

“But still, you can’t just go off with any Slytherin who—“

“I went because he wanted to talk about you.” Remus interrupted.

“Was he warning me to stay away from you again? I hope you told him to go fuck himself.”

“Sirius…he thinks your parents might disown you.”

“So let them, I don’t care. They can barely stand to have me around anyway.”

“I don’t think,” Remus said carefully, “that you really understand what that means.”

“Well why don’t you tell me, Moony, since you seem to know so much about what’s good for me?”

“Do you remember last time we went to Hogsmeade?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“What did you buy while we were there?”

“Uh – a lot of dungbombs, mostly. A new potions book for James, since I set his on fire… A bunch of candy too, I think. I got you some chocolate.”

“How much did it cost?”

“I don’t bloody know, Moony, what are you getting at?”

“Where’d the money come from?”

“My parents, you know th– I see what you’re doing. Goddamnit Moony. But I don’t need to buy a load of dungbombs every month, I could get along fine without the money.”

“Maybe you could. But I’m just saying, getting disowned isn’t like getting a detention. It’s a really big deal, and you need to think about the consequences.”

“I have! You make it sound like I want my parents to disinherit me.”

“Well you’re really not trying very hard to stop them.”

“What, so I should stay away from you? Not in a million years!”

“That’s exactly what you should do. I can’t let you do this to yourself.”

“How many times do I have to tell you? I’m not going to abandon you. I don’t care what my family does!”

Remus felt sick. _I’m not worth it_ , he wanted to shout, _don’t do this to yourself_. He knew Sirius would never accept that. He could never convince the other boy to protect himself by avoiding Remus. The only option, then, was to convince Sirius that Remus didn’t want to be his friend.

Steeling himself, he said to Sirius, “What if I don’t want you around anymore?”

Sirius jerked backwards, looking like nothing so much as a kicked puppy. Remus forced himself to remain expressionless, although he felt like he was about to vomit.

“Have I ever actually said I’ve forgiven you?”

“No, but-“

“It’s just like with the money. You don’t think about the consequences before you do something, and you’ve been acting like nothing has happened. I don’t think you understand what you’ve done to me. I’ll be out of Hogwarts within the month, and what kind of life can I have after that?”

“You’re not going to have to leave!” Sirius spat. “Dumbledore’s on your side, and James and Peter and I won’t ever give up until people leave you alone!”

“Is that really how you think it works? You heard what Rosier said – they’re already going to the Ministry. Even if I manage to stay here, the whole world knows what I am now. I have less chance of ever finding a job than a rat has in a cage full of Kneazles. And the laws against werewolves are only going to get stricter now that everyone knows they let one into a children’s school.”

At first, every word he’d said had been a struggle, but Remus began to feel genuinely angry as he let the pent-up abuse and frustration of twelve years of life as a werewolf finally pour out.

“People will understand!” said Sirius frantically. “They’ll come around like James and Peter and I did!”

“You ‘came around’ for an underweight twelve-year-old who you’d been best friends with for a year, and it still took James and Peter a while. And it was more than I could ever have expected – I can still barely believe it sometimes. People I’ve never met aren’t going to be as sympathetic.”

“But-“

“Have I ever told you why my family lives in a Muggle neighborhood? I was born in the wizarding district in London but we moved out once I was bitten, after the neighbors had blasted out our windows one too many times. Or what about the time the Healer at St. Mungo’s refused to treat me without a security wizard next to her? Oh, or how about when I go to the Ministry every year to check in at the Registry? Did you know they give you a visitor’s badge that just says ‘werewolf’? It’s pretty funny to see fully-grown wizards flinching at the sight of an eight-year-old boy.”

“Remus, I’m sorry, I-“ 

“Just save it, Sirius. This isn’t something you can fix by saying sorry afterwards – you can’t just take a detention and be done with it. I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t really want anything to do with you anymore.”

He almost recanted at the look on Sirius’ face – it was amazing how vividly the hurt showed. This is for his own good, Remus reminded himself. I need to do this to protect him from his family. He forced his apology down, and tried to ignore his rising nausea. Instead, he told Sirius that he was going to bed, and asked him to let their other roommates know. In the bathroom, the expression of the two second-years he managed to terrify with his presence was almost comical. He wanted to applaud them for not rushing out. After finishing his ablutions, he climbed into bed, pulled the curtains, and turned toward the wall, prepared for a sleepless night that arrived as expected.


	12. Chapter 12

He rose early the next morning from his restless sleep. The room still looked strange with one less bed.

He didn’t particularly want to wait around for Sirius to wake up, the thought of breakfast was nauseating, and wandering the hallways alone was risky. He settled on taking the longest shower of his life, then slipping off to wait in the Transfiguration classroom as his roommates left for breakfast. He wasn’t sure what to do about James and Peter; the situation wasn’t nearly as risky for them as it was for Sirius, but still, spending time with him wouldn’t do them any favors. James had enough gall and natural charisma to get through it fine, but Peter might become a target. Remus wasn’t even sure how their friendship would work without Sirius. If James chose his best friend over Remus, it wouldn’t be surprising. And without James, things would go a hundred times harder for Peter.

No use dwelling on it. He pulled out his Transfiguration notes and forced himself to review them, although he spent a lot of time reading the same line over and over. Lily arrived before any of the Marauders, so he talked to her about last night’s homework, carefully avoiding the eyes of his roommates when they entered. He wasn’t sure if Sirius had told the others about their fight, but either way he didn’t want to answer questions about his absence at breakfast.

He knew he couldn’t avoid them for long – they all had Defense together the very next period. Remus stuck to Lily on their way over, and sat down next to her. James took the spot on his other side – Remus was amazed at his restraint at not taking the open seat next to Lily. He did grin horribly at her across Remus until she rolled her eyes and turned away to get her textbook out.

“You all right?” he asked Remus. “Missed you at breakfast.”

“I’m fine,” Remus replied. “Just wasn’t feeling up to the crowd.”

“Ok. Just – what were you and Sirius talking about last night?”

“He hasn’t told you then?”

“We’ve barely talked today. We had a bit of a spat last night. He’s been sulking since then.”

“You had a fight with him? About what?”

“You go first.”

“Not in here. Can we talk on the lawn after classes? Bring Peter too.”

James nodded as Professor Maitland began the class.

\-------------

Sirius spent the morning classes at a back desk, scowling thunderously. He snorted loudly when Professor Maitland dropped his chalk, and halfway through Charms swore a blue streak and walked out. At lunch, he was simply not present. James stayed only long enough to wolf down a sandwich, and then disappeared as well. Remus and Peter ate in silence. Peter’s misery at the discord among his friends was almost palpable. In silent agreement, the two boys finished their meals quickly and then headed to the library before afternoon classes started.

Remus walked to the grounds after classes, and sat by a tree on the lawn. He started the Arithmancy reading for Friday while he waited, wand by his side. James and Peter soon arrived.

“Did you find him at lunch?” Remus asked James.

James nodded. “He was trying to punch his way into the Slytherin common room. I’m not sure what he was trying to do – all the Slytherins were at lunch and if he wanted to sneak in he wasn’t being remotely subtle. I eventually got him to come outside with me as Padfoot. I think he’s still running around out in the forest now.”

Remus felt a twinge of worry. But at least physically, Sirius would probably be ok, with the amount of time he’d spent in the forest since becoming an animagus.

“I guess he’s upset from the fight with James last night,” chipped in Peter.

“What did they fight about?” asked Remus.

“Sirius made some crack about how he wished you’d actually eaten Snape, and James got mad that he wasn’t taken what had happened seriously.”

“It’s just that that’s the sort of joke that led to him getting you into this in the first place,” James explained. “And I guess I’m not much better, but he doesn’t really seem to understand why what he did was wrong.”

“I don’t think he does,” responded Remus. “I mean, he must know that what’s happening now is bad, but I’m not sure he realizes how bad.”

“I think he blames Snape instead of himself,” added James. “Not that a lot of this isn’t Snape’s fault, the filthy git, but still…” He yanked up a clump of grass. “What happened between you and him?”

Remus hesitated. His first instinct was to keep it private, but he’d learned long ago that keeping secrets from his friends was nearly impossible, and not always as desirable as he thought it would be.

“His brother wanted to talk to me last night. He thinks their family will disown Sirius for being friends with a werewolf, and he asked me to get Sirius to stay away from me.”

“The little shit!” spat James.

“He might be right though. You know as well as I do what their family’s like. Maybe more, you’ve actually spent time with them. The way he’s been defending me, you can’t tell me you don’t believe they might disown him.”

James looked uncomfortable, then nodded slowly. Remus’ heart sank – there went his faint hope that he might have overreacted.

“I told Sirius about it last night,” Remus continued.

“Well that explains why he’s so upset,” said James. “He must be furious at his brother.”

“I don’t think that’s the whole reason. When he didn’t believe that he had to stay away from me, I—“

“Wait, what?!” James interrupted. “Don’t tell me you actually asked him to do that."

“Of course I did.”

“Are you an idiot?”

“I couldn’t let him—“

“For fuck’s sake Moony, did you really think he’d agree to that?”

“I had to try! It’s for his own good.”

“It’s his decision, Remus. He’s chosen you, all of us have.”

“He doesn’t understand what it means – he hasn’t been without money for a second of his life. I won’t let him do that to himself.”

“Well good luck convincing him!”

“I have.”

James sputtered. “What-? How?”

Remus swallowed. “I told him I didn’t – I didn’t forgive him for what he did. That I wanted him to stay away from me.”

“But – you didn’t say anything about that early,” said Peter quietly. “You’d been acting normally around him.”

“Because I do forgive him. How could I not, after everything he’s done for me? Maybe I’m just too much of a coward to be angry, but – But I told him that because it was the only way to get him to protect himself.”

He paused.

“Please don’t tell him,” he implored his friends. “We need to do this.”

There was a long silence.

“Where does that leave me and James?” asked Peter. “Do we need to choose a side?”

“I don’t know,” Remus said miserably. “I don’t know. I- I should say that you should stay away from me too, but I really can’t. I don’t think I could do this without any of you.”

“Well you won’t have to,” declared James. “Peter and I aren’t in the same kind of position Sirius is. And I don’t see why we’d have to pick one of you. We’re in pairs a lot in classes anyway – we can just do that at meals and stuff too, take turns I guess. But Remus…how could you tell him something like that? I thought you trusted us all more than that. Although I guess I can’t blame you if you don’t anymore.”

“I trust that you don’t want to hurt me, but not that you won’t hurt yourselves.”

Another silence, eventually broken by James.

“I won’t tell him. If that’s really what you want.”

“It’s what's necessary,” said Remus softly. “Thank you. Peter?”

“I won’t either.”

Remus nodded. “Then let’s head up to dinner.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remus's family in this story is not consistent with the information on Pottermore - I wrote this before it came out, and decided the differences were too major to easily change.

Remus had barely sat down to dinner when Professor McGonagall tapped him on the shoulder.

“When you’re finished eating, Remus, Professor Dumbledore would like to speak to you in his office,” she said. “He enjoys Jelly Slugs.”

Remus wasn’t entirely surprised. It had only been a matter of time before the parents who wouldn’t want him here did something Dumbledore would have to tell him about.

After eating quickly, he headed up towards the headmaster’s office. He had been here often enough to understand the more cryptic part of McGonagall’s message and gain access. Entering the office, he was startled to find his mother and father standing in front of Dumbledore’s desk.

His mother hurried over to him as soon as he entered, and pulled him into a tight hug. Silvia Lupin was a tall, thin woman in her late thirties, hair pulled back into a loose ponytail.

“Are you all right, Remus?” she asked. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling fine,” he replied. “It’s been a few days.”

“We were really worried about you, you usually write the day after the full moon. Why didn’t you tell us sooner? We would have come right away. ”

“I’m really sorry,” Remus said. “With everything that’s been going on, I completely forgot. I’ve had a lot to think about. But I should have written, I didn’t mean for you to worry.”

“I’m just glad you’re not hurt anymore.” He heard the slight catch in her voice, the one that happened every time she had to say not hurt anymore instead of healthy.

“What I want to know is why you didn’t tell us,” said his father, John, turning to Dumbledore. “We’re his parents, you didn’t think this was something we might want to know?”

“My apologies,” the Headmaster replied. “I thought Remus would want to tell you himself.”

“Well,” said his mother, “in any case – you’ll be coming home with us, Remus?”

“Actually, I’m going to try to stay here. Dumbledore’s said he wants to let me stay, and that it might be possible.”

“You really think that’s likely?” his father asked Dumbledore. “There’s no way the Ministry’s going to allow it.”

“Although I don’t believe it’s going to be easy, I see no reason to think they couldn’t be convinced,” Dumbledore replied.

“With all respect, I worked in the Ministry for years before the incident,” Remus flushed. “They’d never permit it.”

“And with all respect, John, your particular branch of the Ministry may not have given you the most unbiased impression of their attitude towards the matter.”

Remus’ mother spoke again. “Are you really sure it’s safe to stay here?”

“It has been so far,” Remus answered. “A lot of people are upset, of course, but I still have my friends, and no one’s tried to hurt me.”

A flash of emotion passed across his mother’s face, but she quickly controlled it. Remus knew that the situation probably didn’t sound terribly safe to her, if “no one’s tried to hurt me” was something that had to be said. But, although she was a Muggle, she’d been in the wizarding world long enough to know not to expect any better.

“Still,” she said, “I know it can’t be easy. You’re welcome to come home if you decide you want to.”

“Remus,” his father cut in. “What exactly happened? Your letter didn’t say much – how did someone get in?”

Remus told him how a friend of his had told a boy he hated how to enter the Shack, leaving both names out of the story. Dumbledore, keeping this anonymity, filled in details of his sparse narrative – how James had pulled Snape out, how Snape had run back to his dormitory and woken his roommates to tell them about his discovery.

“And how did this friend of yours know? Don’t tell me you’d intentionally told someone about your condition.”

Remus had never told his parents that his friends were aware of his lycanthropy, knowing his father would be horrified by the risk.

“He’d figured it out, in second year,” he said. “He and two other friends. I never meant to tell anyone, but eventually they confronted me and I had to admit it.”

“Remus, I thought you were smarter than that.”

“I did everything I could to avoid it. By the time they talked to me, they were completely convinced – it was just a matter of getting me to say it. And it was fine, then – I can still barely believe it, but they accepted me.”

“They did?...Well, look how well it worked out. You might have killed someone!” He turned back to Dumbledore. “We let him come here because you promised it was safe!”

“The danger came from other students’ errors in judgment, not from Remus’s actions or problems with the place used for his transformations.”

“Is the Ministry going to believe that?”

“I don’t know. They’re coming to speak to me on Monday. Remus, they’ll probably want to talk to you as well.”

Remus nodded. Oh Merlin.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come home?” his mother asked again.

“I’m sure,” he told her. “If there’s a chance I can stay here, graduating from Hogwarts will make it that much less impossible that I’ll ever find a job.”

He saw his father restrain a snort. He knew John thought it was completely impossible that he’d get a job anyway. He couldn’t blame his father for his pessimistic outlook though. John had worked in the Ministry’s Werewolf Capture Unit until Remus was bitten. His only interactions with werewolves had been as criminals and dangers that he had to help stop, not as potential employees. He’d fought to overcome his prejudice once his son had been infected, but he still had a hard time believing that anyone else might view werewolves favorably.

“Well,” his mother said, “if you change your mind, or need anything else, let us know. I just want you to be safe.”

“May I speak to Remus privately for a moment?” John asked.

“Of course,” said Dumbledore. “Ms. Lupin, you haven’t been to Hogwarts before, have you? I can give you an extremely incomplete tour.” She nodded and followed him out of the office.

Once they were gone, John turned to his son, an odd expression on his face. “Remus…” he said. “You know your mother and I both love you very much,”

“Of course I do,” Remus answered.

“And I know we haven’t always been close, especially since you’ve been away at school, but I want to make sure you know I couldn’t have asked for a better son, and I wish things could have been different for you.”

“I wish they could have been different too. I know it’s been hard on you.”

“What I wanted to talk to you about… As I’m sure you can tell, your mother’s worried about you, and she wants you to come home. I just – I don’t know if that would be the best idea.”

“Like I said, I want to stay here, and I will if I possibly can,” said Remus.

“I know. But even if – if you do have to leave school, I don’t know if our home would be the best place for you. This is going to be public, any day now. And your mother and sister – I don’t know if it’s safe.” Remus’ sister Miranda, a year younger, attended a Muggle school.

“I’m not saying you can never come home,” John continued, “just that if there’s anywhere else you can go, consider that option first before you put them at risk. And you’re almost of age…”

“I understand,” said Remus as the office door opened and Dumbledore and Silvia entered.

“Good god,” his mother was saying. ”You’ve got something like that in your school and people are scared of my son?”

“Oh, the Baron can’t harm anyone now…” replied Dumbledore. “I hope we’re not returning too soon?”

“Not at all. We’ve just finished,” said John. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad you came here,” Remus said to his parents. “I promise I’ll be better about letting you know what’s going on.”

“I just want you to be careful,” said Silvia, and John nodded in curt agreement.

“I’ll do my best to protect him,” said Dumbledore, and handed them the jar of Floo Powder.

Remus watched them go, and then returned to his dormitory. Only Sirius was there, and he left quickly when Remus entered. Remus felt a deep twinge of guilt, and then one of loneliness. He wished he could talk to his friend about what his father had asked of him.

He really wasn’t sure what to make of it. His father was right, he supposed. He didn’t want to expose his family to danger if the knowledge that they had a werewolf in their home became public. They’d taken steps before to prevent people finding out – Remus had begun using his mother’s last name once he’d been bitten, so that any of his father’s ex-colleagues he might encounter wouldn’t connect him to John Arcene’s son who’d been attacked. But it might not be enough.

It was even more vital now that he stay at Hogwarts– where else could he possibly go?


	14. Chapter 14

Remus woke the next morning to a note next to his bed. It was from Professor Maitland, reminding him of their agreed-upon meeting and asking him to come by at one if that was still convenient for him. Any time would have been – he had nothing planned that day but homework and avoiding people.

He showered, and found his roommates awake when he returned. He and Sirius carefully avoided each other’s eyes.

“We’re going down to breakfast,” said James. “Come with?”

“I think I’ll stay here,” he replied. “I’m not too hungry yet.”

“We’ll bring you something back,” Peter told him on their way out. Remus settled down to practicing for Transfiguration, distracted by wondering what Maitland might ask him, and what he might say in reply.

Forty-five minutes later, he found that Peter had been as good as his word. James and Sirius had gone off to Quidditch practice, but Peter and Frank came in with armfuls of pastry and a precariously balanced plate of bacon and eggs. He thanked them, and the three settled down to homework. He ventured down for a quick lunch with them a few hours later, and then walked to Professor Maitland’s office.

The professor’s door opened almost before he knocked.  
“Remus!” Maitland said. “It’s so good to see you! Come in!”

He put a hand on Remus’ shoulder, pulled him forward, and guided him to a chair, talking all the while.

“Thank you for coming. I’m sorry again about the other day – I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Sit down, sit down! I have so many questions.”

Remus managed to cut it. “Of course I’ll answer your questions, but – um, there might be – I don’t want to be rude, but there are some things I’d really prefer not to talk about. Is it ok if I tell you if there’s something I’m not comfortable answering?”

“Of course,” Maitland replied. “Anything you don’t want to discuss – thank you for coming at all.” He paused a moment.

“So,” he said, “most of what I know about werewolves is second-hand – or even third, most people who deal directly aren’t the type to write books. I’ve read Hairy Snout, Human Heart of course, but it was hard to pick out the facts through the sentiment.”

“Well Hairy Snout, Human Heart is useless,” said Remus. “It’s not actually written by a werewolf.”

“Really?”

“It would be a huge joke among werewolves if we weren’t all so angry at it. It misrepresents the condition in a way that makes us seem much more dangerous than we are.”

“Oh?”

“I can feel the wolf pushing at my mind constantly, threatening to tear through the slender fabric of my consciousness. I fight with everything I have to control the beast – a constant distraction that pulls my energy from the desperate battle to connect with the humans around me. I live in terror that one day I’ll surrender, allowing that monstrous mind to control my human form.”

“Impressive memory,” said Maitland.

“I read that book when I was nine, and I spent months terrified that the wolf would take over my human body. I hadn’t felt anything like that, but I thought it might start happening at any time. Eventually my father got me to say why I was so upset all the time, and told me to ask one of the older werewolves about it next time we went to the Ministry for registration. The one I asked nearly flipped a table when I mentioned the book. The author’s a money-grubbing hack who’s probably never spoken to a werewolf in his life – it’s totally untrustworthy.”

“I had no idea! It’s usually passed around as the only first-hand account of lycanthropy.”

“Well, the real thing is much less dramatic.”

“So you don’t feel the wolf in your mind at all?”

“Not most of the time. I get restless and irritable in the couple of days before a transformation. It’s partially the wolf’s mind coming forward, but it’s mainly caused by the physical symptoms. It gets stronger as the moon gets closer – the day of I can feel it in my head as a separate entity. But it’s a weak presence, and the boundary never comes anywhere close to breaking until the physical transformation starts.”

“How close was the author about the transformations?”

Did he really want to talk about what his transformations were like? Not particularly, but he’d been through it all before with his friends.

“Actually, pretty good. He gets really, er, purple with his description of what it feels like, but it’s nearly all accurate. I don’t notice as many details as he describes, because after a little bit it’s pretty much all just pain, but his bit on the transformations was a lot of why I thought he was genuine at first. The transformation back to human is completely made up though. The mind’s the last thing to come back, so we never remember much of it.”

“So he’s not, er, exaggerating about how painful it is?”

“…no. He’s not.”

For almost first time since Remus had met him, Maitland was quiet. After a moment, he pulled himself together, and asked, “So what about silver? It’s known to be harmful to transformed werewolves, but what about when you’re human?”

“It’s not harmful. I can touch it with no problems.”

“And aconite?”

“It’s poisonous to everyone. I’m not sure if it’s worse for werewolves. I was fine when I used it in potions, but I’ve only touched it dried, so that might be different than the fresh plant.”

He and Maitland talked for another half hour – about what he remembered from the periods of transformation, about how long he’d been a werewolf and how the transformations had changed over time, about how he’d been treated at the Ministry. Remus drew the line at talking in detail about receiving the bite, and again when the professor asked to see his scars from the attack.

Maitland said that he planned to add some of what Remus had told him into the curriculum. The unit really just covered how to defend against a transformed werewolf, and how to distinguish it from a regular wolf. Maitland wanted to also discuss what it was like to be a werewolf, with an emphasis on how fully human they were when not transformed. It was gratifying to hear, although Remus wasn’t sure how much good it would do against years of cultural prejudice.

Maitland thanked him profusely, and Remus walked out of the office fairly pleased with how things had gone. Talking about his condition was never fun, but it was something he had to get used to, and some good might come from this.

He stopped by the Owlery, and sent a brief and optimistic note to his parents, mentioning his talk with Maitland. Guilty about not telling them about the situation sooner, he was determined to keep in very regular touch. And if the note was a little more cheerful than he felt, what was the harm in that?

He considered going to the library to work, but didn’t feel quite comfortable doing so alone. He’d go back to the dormitory instead. The hallways had been nearly empty on his way to the Owlery from Maitland’s office – he’d only passed a few students, all on their own. Hopefully that luck would hold.

Unfortunately, after a couple flights of stairs and a hallway, he ran into one of the last people he wanted to see – Severus Snape. He’d barely seen Snape since the full moon, but that wasn’t surprising. They only had one class together, and he could hardly blame the other boy for avoiding him.

It seemed that it had been deliberate avoidance, for Severus looked terrified. “You!” he spat. “Stay away from me!” He pulled out his wand, and started to edge past Remus, staying as far across the hallway as he could.

“I’m sorry,” said Remus helplessly. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit. You and Black wanted to kill me, or it was all to make Potter look like some big hero. How long were you planning it for?”

“That not true. It wasn’t planned, I had no idea, Sirius just lost his temper –“

“He tried to kill me! You almost ate me! You all think you’re so great, Dumbledore just loves you, but now everyone knows what a monster you are. I’ll listen to you apologize once the Ministry’s got you locked up, or maybe when the date’s set to have you put down.” 

Severus’ hands were shaking. He’d been moving past Remus as he spoke; he now spun around and ran off down the hall.

Remus leaned against the wall for a minute and collected himself. He hurried back to the dormitory, carefully sticking to less-used passageways, any good cheer he’d gained from the meeting with Maitland utterly gone.


	15. Chapter 15

The rest of the day passed quietly. He worked in his room, and slipped down for a late dinner with James and Peter, giving them a heavily abridged version of his meeting with Maitland and encounter with Snape.

James was fumingly indignant about what Snape had said, even through Remus’ somewhat softened telling. He’d taken Remus’ plea not to start trouble to heart, enough that it was unlikely that he’d attack Severus next time they met, but Remus suspected that the Slytherin boy would have some uncomfortable surprises in the next few days. But that was nothing new, and James had gotten good at being subtle.

He pleaded out of breakfast again the next morning, so James and Peter brought food back and ate with him. He set at his homework, trying to ignore Sirius still asleep, blankets pulled over his head. Sirius didn’t wake for a long time, and when he did he grabbed an armful of clothes, slouched off to the bathroom, and didn’t come back.

By two, Remus had finished his work up to Wednesday, and was beginning to grow restless. He jumped between Transfiguration practice and a Potions essay for Friday, not making much progress with either. James and Peter had been in and out, but had been with him for the last hour, and it was clear that his antsiness was rubbing off.

“Let’s go down to the common room,” said James suddenly. “None of us are getting anything done, we should take a break.”

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Remus. “Couldn’t we take a break in here?”

“You’ve got to go down there sometime,” James answered. “Can’t avoid most of your house forever. And you’ve been in this room all day, it’s not good for you.”

Remus had to agree. This was the second day in a row he’d spent mostly in the dormitory, and he was starting to hate it in here. Anyway, he could always head back up if things went badly, or go over to the library or something.

When the three boys entered the common room, they were greeted with the usual bevy of nervous stares that followed Remus every time he passed through. The atmosphere tensed as the students realized that he was headed for an open couch instead of the portrait out.

“I can’t do this,” he whispered to James. “Let’s go outside. Hang out on the grounds.”

“Remus, it’s pouring outside,” James hissed back. “Are you going to sit on that couch, or do Peter and I need to bring it over to you? Because we will, and if you want to avoid attention that’s not the way to do it.”

Remus laughed quietly, and forced himself to look around the now quiet room. He walked to the couch and sat down, James and Peter on either side of him.

_I need to say something_ , he thought. _I need to relax the situation before someone challenges me. Oh god they’re all looking at me._

“If I can silence a room this easily,” he said, forcing a smile, “maybe I should start hiring myself out to the professors.”

A few students laughed. Most looked vaguely sheepish and started to go back to what they had been doing. Remus was about to relax – had it really been that easy? – when Anthony Morris stood up.

“What are you trying to pull?” he asked.

“He’s trying to sit in his common room,” said James angrily.

“Look, going to classes and sleeping in the dorm he almost has an excuse. Now he’s just trying to make people uncomfortable. Someone has to say it – nobody wants him in here.”

James opened his mouth to reply, but Remus cut him off.

“I’ll go,” he said quickly. “I don’t want to bother anyone.” What had he been thinking, coming in here? As if anything but this could have happened. He was just hurting his chances of staying at Hogwarts by forcing himself on people like this.

“Really, Remus?” said James, exasperated. “Stick up for yourself a little.” He turned back to Anthony. “He’s a student and a Gryffindor, he’s got as much right as any of us to be in here.”

“Most of you have known me for years,” Remus added, addressing the room. “I’m not a different person now, and I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“There are kids in here,” Anthony snapped. “You’re a werewolf in a room with a bunch of eleven year olds, don’t try to tell me that’s safe.” This had an effect on the other students; Remus could see some of the younger ones cringing.

To Remus’ surprise, Lily Evans stood up from where she’d been sitting with her friends near the fireplace.

“Why don’t you shut up, Anthony?!” she said. “Like Remus said, you all know him. Has he ever been anything but kind?”

“You!” She pointed at a particularly nervous looking first year. “I’ve seen him tutoring you all the time. Do you really think he wants to hurt you?”

The boy reluctantly shook his head.

“Well.” Lily continued. “If anyone but Morris has something to say, do it now. Let’s get this nonsense finished up.” Nobody spoke. She gave Anthony a hard look.

“If you’re all too scared to admit you don’t want to be in here with that thing, I want no part of it,” Anthony spat. He threw his books into his bag and stalked out of the room. A few other students followed him, much more abashedly.

After a moment of silence, Remus, James, and Lily sat down. The room slowly returned to its previous activity. A few students still looked nervous, but no one else bothered him. 

Remus and Peter played a game of Exploding Snap, while James fidgeted with a book on Quidditch, spending much more time looking over at Lily Evans than reading. After about 20 minutes, when the atmosphere in the room was nearly back to normal, he walked over to her.

“What are you after?” Lily asked, looking up from where she sat with her friends.

“I just wanted to say thanks,” James said. “For defending Remus like that.”

Her face softened. “Of course I did. It’s so ridiculous how people react. … But you too – you’re a good friend.”

He grinned sheepishly. “Did I hear you right, Evans? Was that praise?”

“Don’t get used to it,” she said, smiling back.

“But does this mean you’ll go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend?” he asked.

“…I’ll think about it,” she said. “Ask me again on Tuesday.”

“…wait, really?”

“Yes, I’ll really think about it,” she said with another small smile. “Now head off so I can deal with this nonsense here.” She waved a hand at her friends, who had begun giggling furiously.

“Right…ok, I’ll do that,” James managed, and headed back to where Peter and Remus were sitting. Remus put the cards away as James began to recount at length and rather incoherently his interaction with Lily.


	16. Chapter 16

Remus woke early on Monday morning. His stomach was churning, and for a moment he fought to remember what he was nervous about. Then it hit – today was the day Dumbledore had said the Ministry would come. 

_Everything will be fine_ , he told himself. _You’ve already dealt with being exposed here; you can deal with whatever else comes._

After a nearly scalding shower, he accompanied James and Peter to breakfast – the Great Hall was another place he should really work on not avoiding. James flicked Sirius’ curtains open just before they left, and found Sirius still apparently dead asleep.

“Nothing new there,” James said to the other boys. “I’ll come back up to check on him after I eat.”

They made their way down to the Great Hall. Remus made sure to straighten his posture as he entered, and tried to fight the urge to move all the way behind James. They grabbed their usual spots at the Gryffindor table. Remus picked at a bowl of oatmeal while the other boys dove into their piles of bacon and eggs. When the owls arrived with the morning mail, he was a little surprised to find there was no note calling him to the Headmaster’s office. But maybe the Ministry wouldn’t be talking to him until later in the day. 

James flipped through his copy of the Daily Prophet, looking rather unhappy.

“What’s going on?” said Remus, restraining himself from asking if the paper had anything about him yet.

“There’s been another Muggle attack,” James answered. “That’s two in the last few months. Nasty one too.”

Remus winced. There had always been occasional attacks on Muggles, although most of those he’d seen in his father’s papers as a child had been more malicious fun than actual harm. But they seemed to be getting more frequent and more serious lately.

He was on edge all day, waiting to be called out of class to speak to whatever officials had come to the school. But he left his last class without having been contacted. At dinner with Peter – James had gone off with Sirius somewhere – he told the other boy that he’d expected the Ministry to come and talk to him.

“Maybe they didn’t come to the school today after all?” he wondered aloud.

“I think they did,” said Peter. “That is – I saw a couple of wizards I didn’t recognize walking across the grounds with Dumbledore this morning, out the window when I was heading to Muggle Studies.”

“What did they look like? Do you know what department they were from?”

“I didn’t see them very well. One guy had blue robes on, and the other had grey.”

“Did either of them have a badge?”

“I didn’t see. I was up a couple floors, I couldn’t see a lot of detail.”

“Right, sorry. I’ll stop with the interrogation,” Remus apologized. “At least one of them’s got to be from the DRCMC, but they might have sent someone from Magical Law Enforcement too. I wonder if they’d try me in both at once?”

“Maybe they’re not here for you,” said Peter. “It’s not like what happened was actually your fault. They could have arrested Dumbledore or Sirius instead.”

“That’s…really not better, Peter,” Remus said as Professor McGonagall appeared behind him.

“Remus, the Headmaster would like to see you as soon as possible,” she told him, and walked away.

“Man, is he ever going to let you finish dinner?” asked Peter after she was out of earshot.

When Remus made it up to the Headmaster’s office a few minutes later, Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, writing something. He looked up when Remus entered.

“Hello, Remus,” he said. “Please have a seat.”

Remus lowered himself into one of the two chairs that had been placed in front of the Headmaster’s desk.

“Representatives from the Ministry came to speak to me today,” Dumbledore said. “One from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and another from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Apparently they’ve not yet decided whose jurisdiction this incident falls under.”

“Did they not want to talk to me?” Remus asked.

“They didn’t feel it was necessary,” said Dumbledore. “I did my best to inform them of the realities of the situation. They were rather uninformative about what their intentions were, although I very much doubt it will be their decision.”

“Did they say when we’ll know what’s going to happen?”

“Unfortunately, no. But I don’t expect it will be much longer.”

Remus nodded. There was a moment of silence.

“I’m sorry to have pulled you away from your dinner,” said Dumbledore. “If I hear anything else from the Ministry, I’ll let you know immediately.”

“Thank you, Professor,” said Remus, and left the office.

He ate with Peter again at breakfast the next morning, with James and Sirius down the other end of the table. Unusually, two letters for him arrived with the owl post – one from his mother and the one with a Ministry seal. He slipped the Ministry’s letter into his lap and opened his mother’s first. It was a fairly short letter, of the kind she sent him often– asking if he was doing all right, giving news about his sister (she’d won an award at school), encouraging him to write back. Most of the letter seemed cheerful, but her worry was not fully disguised.

Slipping the letter into his bag, he shot a look at Peter to make sure the other boy was still fully engrossed with his eggs and sausage, and turned to the envelope from the Ministry.

_Dear Mr. Lupin_ ,

the letter read.

_An investigation into the April 6th attack on Mr. Severus Snape is being conducted. As the werewolf responsible, you are required to stand trial for violation of Parts 2 and 14 of the Werewolf Codes. Your presence is required at a hearing before the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures on April 16th at 9:00 am. Until that time, you will be detained at the offices of the Werewolf Capture Unit in the interest of public safety. Representatives of the WCU will arrive today at 11:00 am to escort you. Your full cooperation is expected._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Akilan Durai  
Head, Beast Division, Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures_


	17. Chapter 17

Oh Merlin, they’re arresting me. A wave of panic surged in his chest; he breathed in and tried to settle it.

“Peter?” he managed. “I have to go talk to Dumbledore – I’ll see you later, ok?”

“Sure...?” said Peter through a mouthful of egg. “What happened?” Remus was already heading away from the table.

He reached Dumbledore’s office in record time.

“Good morning, Remus,” said the Headmaster. “Can I help you?”

“I – ah,” stammered Remus. “I got this letter, just now. From the Ministry.” He handed it to Dumbledore.

The headmaster’s brow furrowed almost imperceptibly as he read.

“I see,” he said. “Well, it’s not ideal, but not unworkable either. It looks like we’ve picked up some interested parties trying to rush this through. It shouldn’t make much difference though. I’ll have notes sent to your professors.”

“Should I- should I bring things? Should I go to class until 11?” Remus was almost laughing now, edging towards hysteria. “What’s the protocol for being arrested? I don’t want to be rude.”

“You’re welcome to attend your first classes if you’d like, but you’ll want to be here a bit before 11,” Dumbledore answered. “Come back to my office, and we’ll go down to the front gate to meet them. You should pack some clothes and books for the next few days. I’d also recommend you ignore any advice your friends give you. Going peacefully to an arrest doesn’t sound very appealing, but in this situation it’s by far the best strategy in the long-term.”

Remus nodded. “You don’t need to worry about that,” he said. “I’m not going to do anything stupid.” He walked out of the office, and decided that it would be best to go back to the Great Hall first and tell his friends what had happened. They’d be heading up to classes soon, and he didn’t want to just disappear on them. It would be easier on him if he did, but it seemed a bit unfair.

He went to talk to Peter first. “What happened?” Peter asked as Remus sat back down at the dining table.

“I got a letter from the Ministry. They’re coming today to take me into custody.”

“What? You’re getting arrested?”

“Yes. I’ve got a hearing on Friday, and they’re taking me to be held in the WCU until then. They’re coming at 11.”

“Wow…” said Peter. ”They really didn’t give you a lot of notice, did they?”

“No. I guess they’re worried I’m going to try to run or something? Or maybe they just want to get it done right after they’ve decided, I don’t know.”

“You’re not going to run, right?”

“What! No, of course not?”

“I bet James and Sirius would want you to…” Peter mused.

“Well, that would be really stupid,” said Remus. “I’m going to go, and I’m not going to make things any worse for myself.”

Peter nodded. His eyes widened suddenly.

“What if they put you in a cell with other werewolves?” he asked.

Remus cocked his head. “Well, it would be nice if I had one to myself, but that’s not really my biggest worry.”

“But…”

“Peter, you know I’ve met other werewolves before, right?”

“You have? Where? You’ve never told us that.”

“At the Registry and the hospital.”

Peter’s eyes got even bigger. “And they didn’t…? I mean…”

This didn’t seem to be going anywhere good. “Peter,” Remus interrupted. “I’m probably going to be a lot safer with other werewolves than if they lock me in with wizards who know what I am. I’ve got to go tell James I’m leaving, ok?”

Peter nodded, looking a bit sheepish. “I hope – I hope you’ll be ok. I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too,” said Remus. “Keep an eye on James and Sirius for me, ok?”

“I’ll do my best,” Peter replied. The two boys stood for a moment, not sure what else to say, until Peter picked up his bag, smiled weakly at Remus, and headed off to class. 

Other students were started to leave for classes too; Remus hurried to where James and Sirius were still sitting.

“Remus?” James asked. “What’s up?” Sirius stood and started to grab his bag, but Remus stopped him.

“You should probably hear this too,” he said. “Just to know what’s going on.”

He told them both about the letter, then winced as James began to yell.

“What?!” the black-haired boy cried out. “Well, you’re not going, right?”

“Of course I’m going, James,” Remus retorted. “They’re arresting me. What do you expect me to do, run off and hide in the woods for the rest of my life?”

“…Yeah! I bet that could work. We could bring you food, and then join you once we graduate. It would be so cool!”

“The whole point of coming to Hogwarts was so I wouldn’t end up living in the woods. I’m going with them at 11, and that’s the end of the discussion.”

“I’ll come to the hearing then! I’ll tell them what happened and that it wasn’t your fault.”

“That would be wonderful, but I think they’ll contact you if they want you to speak there. If they don’t, I’d really rather neither of you were there.“

“Well why the hell not?” asked James.

“First off,” Remus smiled, “ you should be in class. And if it goes badly, I don’t want you to see it. Stay here and save your notes in case I come back, ok?”

James nodded. “I can mail them every day if you want. I bet my dad can figure out how to get them to you.” 

“That would be great,” said Remus. “Give me something to do. Speaking of which, we should get to class.”

“You’re going to classes today?”

“Just the beginning of the first one, and then I’ll go pack. Better than sitting around and getting myself worked up.”

Sirius stood suddenly. “I’ll meet you there, James,” he said, breaking his uncharacteristic silence. Remus forced himself not to look at him as Sirius walked away.

“They can’t do anything too bad to you,” James protested. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I’ll talk to Dumbledore – I’ll find something I can do to help.”

“I really don’t think you can. But thank you. Thanks for everything. For being such a great friend, and for pulling Snape out of there – I don’t think I’ve said that yet. I’ll miss you.”

“Of course, Remus. But stop talking like we’re never going to see each other again. I won’t let that happen.”

“Right. But still, I’ll miss you until then. Take care of Sirius, ok?”

“I will. I’ll see you soon,” James answered. They hugged briefly, and then headed off to their separate classes.

Remus stayed for a bit over an hour, although he found it hard to focus. Slipping off and heading back to his dormitory, he filled a bag with textbooks and clothes for the week, and walked to Dumbledore’s office to wait.


	18. Chapter 18

“Ah, Remus,” said Dumbledore as the young werewolf walked into his office. It was about fifteen minutes to 11 – Remus had carefully spaced out his time packing so as not to arrive too early or too late. “I’m glad you’ve made it. Let’s walk down to the gates.”

They walked down in silence, Dumbledore waving pleasantly at the ghosts and portraits they passed. 

When they exited the castle, Remus saw that the Ministry officials had not yet arrived. After a moment standing by the gates, Remus asked, “Will you be at the trial?”

“I will,” Dumbledore answered. “I received a letter this morning asking me to give testimony.”

Remus felt a quick surge of guilt. It seemed like the Ministry had chosen to try only him, but his presence at the school had still caused trouble for Dumbledore. He wondered if the headmaster still thought letting him attend had been worth it.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “For letting me come here, for everything… I’m sorry it went badly. I should have been more careful.”

“Remus,” Dumbledore replied, “while we can always hope for things to go as well as they might, they very seldom do. I don’t regret my decision to let you attend. You’ve been an asset to the school.”

They waited the rest of the time in silence, and the Ministry officials apparated just outside the gates promptly at 11. There were two of them – a tall man and a dark-haired woman with scars down one side of her face, both with WCU badges.

“Good morning,” the woman said. “It’s an honor, Professor Dumbledore. I’m Maeva Williams. My partner and I are representatives of the WCU.”

“I remember you, Maeva,” Dumbledore responded. “You were quite a bright student. How are things at the WCU these day?”

“Far too busy.” She tipped her head towards Remus. “Is this the werewolf?”

“This is Remus,” Dumbledore replied. He turned towards Maeva’s partner, who had pulled a length of rope from somewhere in his robes. “I don’t believe that will be necessary.”

“Regulations,” the man grunted. He flicked his wand, and the ropes looped themselves around Remus’ wrists and slowly tightened, pulling his arms behind his back. 

Maeva took the bag Remus now held awkwardly behind him, and flipped through it.

“No wand, good,” she said as she passed it to her partner. Remus had left his wand on his bed with a note asking Peter to store it safely, unsure if he would be allowed to bring it. “We’ll be off then, Headmaster.”

“Very well,” said Dumbledore. “He’ll be able to receive owls?”

She nodded. “Visitors as well, during the proper hours. You’ll have to check when with the office, it depends on their staffing.”

“Excellent. Then Remus, I’m sure your friends will stay in touch.”

“Could you let my mother know about the visiting hours?” Remus asked. “If she wants to come.”

“Of course,” Dumbledore replied.

“We’ll apparate to the Ministry as soon as we’re off the grounds,” Maeva told Remus. “I’m sure you know not to try anything.”

“Oh, yes, just a moment,” Dumbledore interjected. He held out a small bag that Remus couldn’t remember him carrying down. “You’ll find some things in here to make the time go a little easier.”

The man from the Ministry reached for the bag, looked inside, and waved his wand over it. Apparently finding nothing objectionable, he tucked it into Remus’ bag of clothing.

“Thank you, Professor,” Remus said, before Maeva nudged him forward. As soon as they’d stepped through the gate, he felt the tightness of apparation clench in around him.

They arrived in the large entrance hall of the Ministry, which Remus had seen before on his annual visit to the Registry. It seemed much more overwhelming without his father at his side. Remus caught a few stares at the ropes around his arms and flushed, but most people seemed to be in too much of a hurry to notice him. Maeva and the wizard walked him past Security, into a lift, and out onto the first floor. The WCU office seemed to be in the opposite direction of the Registry, and a good distance from the lifts, but eventually they arrived at a small office with a few chairs and a receptionist’s desk. The man at the desk jumped when they walked in, and looked up from picking at his cuticles.

“Hi Tom,” said Maeva. “This is Remus Lupin, the one from Hogwarts. Figured we’d put him in cell ten.”

“Works for me,” said Tom. Maeva and the wizard who’d come with her walked Remus through a door on the other side of the office. The large room they entered featured two rows of cells with a hallway down the middle. A man was sleeping in the one just right of the door. Remus was led down the hall past four or five pairs to the far end of the room, and then into the right-hand cell. He felt the tingle of strong protective spells as he passed through the door. The wizard tossed the bag of clothes and books he was still holding into the cell, locked the door, and flicked his wand, vanishing the ropes around Remus’ wrists.

“We’ll come and get you before your hearing Friday,” Maeva said. She and the wizard strode out of the room, leaving Remus to look around at his new residence.

It wasn’t as bad as he’d feared. There was a cot on one side, not too comfortable but at least long enough. The other side of the cell contained a toilet with a vanishing charm lever. There wasn’t much privacy, and he wasn’t sure if there was an arrangement for bathing, but at least the place was reasonable clean and seemed to be mostly empty. Although his interactions with other werewolves had usually gone fairly well – his age seemed to lead most of them to be fairly sympathetic – he’d always managed to avoid telling them he attended Hogwarts. He suspected his chance to participate in mainstream society would set him apart uncomfortably, and he wasn’t sure how well he could avoid mentioning it if he had to talk to someone for two days.

Although it felt faintly ridiculous, he unpacked his things, organizing his clothes and textbooks into near piles next to the cot. Reaching into the bag Dumbledore had given him, he pulled out a chocolate bar that seemed rather too large for the space that had contained it. Smiling with surprise, he stowed it behind the books to eat later. Taking up a sheet of parchment and a quill, he settled onto the cot and began composing a rather optimistic letter to James about how things had gone so far.

Tom came in some time later with a tray of food, which he sent inside Remus’ cell with a flick of his wand. “Meals are at 8, 12, and 5,” he said, looking like telling Remus this was about as exciting as feeding flobberworms. “Complaining about those times won’t change them, mail is delivered with breakfast.” He wandered back down the hallway and out of the room, leaving Remus alone.


	19. Chapter 19

The worst problem the rest of the day turned out to be boredom. He read the few books he’d brought off and on, and worked on letters to James, Peter, and his family, but the hours seemed to drag. The monotony was occasionally broken when Tom walked down the hallway, apparently on a regular patrol, but the nervous attempts Remus made at conversation were met with silence and a disdainful look. He drifted off the sleep the first night not long after Tom had brought in dinner.

The next morning, he awoke to see a breakfast tray and a pair of letters already on the floor. With no windows he had no way to tell what time it was, but he must have been asleep for a long while. 

One of the letters was addressed from James and the other from his mother. He opened hers first, and took out a single sheet of paper with a brief paragraph. The beginnings of many of the lines were blotted, as if she’d started and reconsidered a few times.

_Remus,_

_Dumbledore told your father and I just now what happened. I hope you are safe and okay where you are now. I’ll be in to visit later today, as soon as I can get in to London. Whatever happens, I know you will be as brave as you always are._

_Love you,_

_Mum_  
  
He folded the letter and slid it back into the envelope, with a sinking feeling in his gut. He knew he should be happy that she was coming to visit him – that there were people who cared about him enough that he wouldn’t have to wait here the full time alone. But instead, he felt guilty that she’d have to come see him in this situation. He didn’t know what he would say to her – he couldn’t honestly offer her any reassurances.

Realizing he was wallowing a bit, he shook his head and took the other, much thicker envelope. He found a copy of yesterday’s class notes, behind a letter written in James’ cramped hand. 

_Hi Remus,_

_You picked the right day to miss classes; they were somehow all dead boring. I’ve stuck in a copy of the notes anyway, because I’m sure you’d still study them if every subject had done a lecture on flobberworms. Credit to Peter for the end of most of them – I kept dozing off._

_You were the talk of the school today – nobody knows where you’ve got to. I’ve been telling people you were enlisted by the Ministry to join a special werewolf division of the exploding bonbons disposal unit, but I don’t think they believe me for some reason. Evans came up to me after Defense (!!!) and pressed me about it, so I told her what actually happened. I hope that’s ok – I know you two are friendly, and she seemed really worried. She also told me I should write my father, which I was planning to do anyway. I’m sending an owl off to him when I take this up. Hopefully he’ll be able to help you out._

_When is your hearing? Peter says you told him it’s on Friday, but he doesn’t know the time and Dumbledore wouldn’t tell me when I went up to talk to him. I told him that I could speak at the hearing but he said he’d rather not bring me into this, and he’d let me know if he changed his mind._

_Sirius is in a bad way – he’s wandered off again, but I’m going to go track him down right after this. I think Peter’s pretty nervous too. I’m just angry – you didn’t do anything wrong, and no one got hurt. It’s really unfair, and I hate that I can’t do anything from here. But I bet they’ll have enough sense to see it’s not your fault. I’ll try and send off more notes tomorrow. Let me know if there’s anything else you want._

_Hang in there,_

_James_  
  
Remus picked up his quill and paper and set to composing a letter back. He wasn’t sure if he was even able to send mail, so he wanted to try and finish it before his mother arrived so he could pass it along to her to post. He briefly described the arrest and where he was being kept, and reassured James he was being treated reasonably well.  
__  
The hearing will be at 9 o’clock on Friday morning,  
  
Remus wrote,  
__  
but I’d really prefer if you didn’t come. I appreciate you contacting your father, and everything else you’ve done for me. I’d just rather as few people as possible are there to see. (Anyway, you should be in class.)  
  
The hearing, he knew, would almost certainly be humiliating. At the least, he’d be in a room full of people talking about his condition, and it could get much worse from there. If he could prevent his friends from watching him be put on display, it would spare him some of the embarrassment.

_I’m glad you told Lily,_

he added to his letter.

_she should know what’s going on. Thank you again for the notes. Wish my best to Lily and Peter and everyone._

He’d finished the letter and started reading through the notes James had sent when he heard footsteps coming towards him. Tom appeared a moment later, with a second figure behind him. 

“Visitor for you,” Tom said, and withdrew. The other person stepped forward, and Remus was shocked to see Walburga Black.

“Werewolf,” she spat. “I assume you know who I am.”

“I do, Madame Black,” he answered, putting his papers aside and rising to his feet. “To what do I owe this honor?”

“At least you know your manners,” she sniffed. “I’m here because of the role my son played in your attack on that boy.”

Remus began to open his mouth to reply, but Walburga cut him off with a glare.

“I don’t know what kind of association my son had with you or how much he knew about you when he told me he counted you as a friend. It’s been clear from the start that you’re an unsuitable companion for him, but he always did enjoy his perversities. In any case, I cannot allow our family name to be soiled by his involvement in this. When you are questioned, you will avoid mentioning him if it is at all possible without lying. If you must say his name, you will minimize his role in this, and you will by no means refer to him as a friend. What happened was your and that headmaster’s fault – Sirius’ involvement was an unfortunate mishap. If you fail to comply with this, I can make things go very badly for you and your family. Is that understood?”

“Yes ma’am,” said Remus. “I had no intent of dragging Sirius into this trial. But I assume Severus Snape is also testifying. He might be more difficult to convince – they didn’t get along well.”

“Do you think I’m an idiot? I’ve already spoken to the Snape boy. I’ve managed to make my conditions attractive to him – there’ll be no problems on that end.” She paused, and looked Remus up and down with contempt in her eyes. 

“Well, at least you had the sense to agree easily. I’d suggest you spend the night considering what might happen if you break your word.” She turned on her heel and strode out of the room, fine robes billowing behind her.


	20. Chapter 20

Remus took a deep breath and slide back down the wall, thinking, despite himself, about what Mrs. Black might be able to do if she decided he hadn’t followed her instructions well enough. He certainly didn’t want Sirius’ role in events publicly exposed, but lying outright at the hearing was unlikely to be successful. He could only hope that the questions they asked allowed him to minimize Sirius’ involvement. 

After a while, he picked up his class notes again and resumed reading through them, but found himself unable to concentrate. Tom appeared after a while, and slid a tray of lunch into the cell. Remus picked at it until some time later, when he again heard footsteps coming down the hall. It was Tom again, this time accompanied by Remus’ mother.

“Mum!” he said, standing hurriedly. “I’m sorry you had to come out here.”

“Don’t be silly, Remus,” she replied. “I’m sorry I’m the only one here. Your father couldn’t get out of work, so he just dropped me off on his lunch break.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here," he told his mother. “I just wish I hadn’t gotten us into this.”

“It’s not your fault and you know it,” said Silvia. “How you being treated? Are they feeding you?”

Remus reassured her that the conditions weren’t so bad, all things considered. He told her James had been writing, and passed her his completed letter to post. Luckily she didn’t ask if anyone else had visited – Walburga Black was the last thing he wanted to mention. Their conversation then turned to the upcoming hearing.

“How much do you know about what it will be like?” Silvia asked her son. “I’ve never been to a wizarding trial before. I had jury service once, but I doubt it’s much the same.”

“I’ve never been to one either,” Remus said. One of the werewolves at the hospital had once told him a long and harrowing story about being tried for shoplifting, but not much in it was either helpful or reassuring. He’d been in a different department than Remus anyway – for that offence he’d legally been considered a wizard rather than a magical creature, although the judges and witnesses certainly hadn’t seen him as anything other than a werewolf.

“Dumbledore didn’t seem too worried,” continued Remus, “but he didn’t have time to tell me many of the details. He says he’ll be there to give testimony though.”

“Well, that’s something at least,” said Silvia. For the rest of the visit, she updated her son on how the family was doing. Remus’ father was anxious and irritable, convinced he could do little to help but frustrated about that fact, while Remus’s sister was as busy in her Muggle life as ever. Although Silvia wouldn’t say so explicitly, Remus got the sense that she continued to want nothing to do with her brother and his problems. 

After about an hour, Silvia said goodbye, and told Remus she would see him on Friday. “Whatever happens, you’ll always be welcome at home. You’re the strongest person I know, and you’ll do good no matter what happens to you.”

They hugged awkwardly through the bars, and she left to find John so he could help her Floo home.  
\------  
The rest of the day, and all of the next, passed slowly. Remus received another set of notes from James, and began working on his chocolate bar. However, he spent most of his time worrying about the hearing. Who else would be there as a witness? What could Snape possible say to avoid implicating Sirius? How many of the judges had Walburga Black bought out? Were his charges executable offenses? He lay awake most of Thursday night, mind racing though a hundred possible horrendous scenarios for the next day.

Remus was woken the morning of the hearing by the lights flashing on and off. 

“Time to get up,” called the receptionist. “You’ve got places to be.”

He sat up, and shook the sleep from his eyes. Two serious looking wizards were waiting outside his cell, one with a length of rope. 

“Mr. Lupin?” said one. “We’re here to escort you to your hearing.”

Remus nodded and stood up. He was a bit groggy and badly wanted a shower, but felt surprisingly calm. He’d gotten all the panic out in the last couple of days. Whatever happened now would be nothing more than he’d always expected. 

“I need you to stand against the wall, and hold your hands in front of you,” continued the wizard. Remus did so, and the rope coiled itself around his wrists and tightened. 

“Now turn, and follow me.” The wizard who’d spoken turned and walked down the hall, holding the end of the long piece of rope. The other wizard waited for Remus to follow and then stepped into place after him.

They proceeded down several long hallways, with bustling offices branching off. After a few minutes, the wizard in front opened a door and led Remus into the room where the hearing would take place.

The courtroom was smaller than he’d expected, but still large enough to be intimidating. Five witches and wizards wearing DRCMC badges sat at a bench facing an open area with a small metal ring set in the floor. Behind them rose several tiers of seats, crowded with people. The noise level in the room rose as he walked in. The wizard guiding Remus walked him to the center of the open area; the other flicked his wand, and the end of the rope tied itself around the metal ring. The escorts then retreated, to stand by the door they’d entered through.

Remus scanned the crowd for familiar faces, uncomfortably conscious of their eyes on him. He saw his mother and father near the back. They waved at him, and he forced a weak smile. Albus Dumbledore, who seemed to be knitting something, was seated in the first row with Madame Pomfrey next to him. Sirius’ mother, Walburga Black, was on the other side of the front row, between an imposing man who Remus supposed might be her husband and a nervous-looking Severus Snape.

Of the dozen or so other people there, he recognized none. A few were clearly reporters, holding quills and notepads. He supposed the others might be concerned parents, or just curious onlookers.

The DRCMC witch seated in the center of the bench stood, and the room quieted. 

“All right, let’s begin,” she said. “This is a hearing to investigate a breach of the Werewolf Code by Remus John Lupin. Allegations have been brought that Mr. Lupin has violated Article 2, Prohibition against Endangering Humans, and Article 14, Requirements for Transformation Sites."

“I am Robin Withey, head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Speaking today will be Mr. Severus Snape, the victim of the alleged attack by Mr. Lupin, and, as witnesses for the defense, Mrs. Poppy Pomfrey and Professor Albus Dumbledore.”

“Mr. Snape, please stand and describe your experiences on the night of April 5th.” Severus rose from his seat, and walked down to face the judges, giving Remus a wide berth. 

“There’s a tree on the grounds of Hogwarts called the Whomping Willow by the students,” he began. “The branches move, and it hits anyone who comes near it, but I found out that if you press a big knot on the trunk, it freezes. There’s a tunnel that opens up between the roots, and I went down to see what was there. I’d thought for months that something suspicious was going on. Remus would disappear all the time, and come back covered in cuts and bruises. And he and his friends were always sneaking around at odd hours. Clearly he was up to something, so I wondered if this had anything to do with it."

“I walked through the tunnel for a long time – maybe 40 minutes, but it’s difficult to say for sure. After a while I started to hear strange noises, like growls and howls. They were quiet at first, but got louder as I continued. The tunnel started to slope upwards, and then I saw an opening at the end of it. I couldn’t see much through the opening except for badly scratched wooden floors. I came closer, and then I saw movement, and then a wolf’s head came through the hole.”

Snape paused, and seemed to be steeling himself to continue. “It was about six inches away from my face, and I could feel its spittle. It was trying to reach me, but the hole was too small for it to get through. I froze, and then I ran.”

“What did you do after that?” asked Withey.

“I kept running until I got back to my dormitory,” Snape answered. “I woke the other boys there up, and told them what had happened. After about 20 minutes, I was called to Professor Dumbledore’s office. He asked me what had happened, and confirmed that the wolf was Lupin. He asked me if I’d told anyone, and was clearly disappointed when I said I had. ”

“You say confirmed - you suspected that the wolf you’d seen was Mr. Lupin?”

“It had to be. As I’ve already said, Remus would disappear regularly, and I wanted to what was going on with him. Being a werewolf fit with his behaviors perfectly.”

“Why did you think to go to the tree?”

“There had to be something important about the tree. Why else would it be at Hogwarts? There have already been injuries – there’s an idiotic game where students try to touch the trunk. So I was curious about the tree too, and then I found out about the knot.”

“Were you injured by the wolf at any point?”

“No, but it was a near thing. The werewolf’s teeth were nearly at my face. If anything had gone differently, I could easily have been killed or bitten.” He shuddered. “Lupin had transformed in a location easily accessible from a school, and due to his negligence I - "

“Bullshit!” A familiar voice interrupted loudly. “You’ve left out half of it, you lying bastard.”

Remus looked across the courtroom to see Sirius Black, livid with rage.


	21. Chapter 21

Sirius ran to the center of the room and stood next to Remus, addressing Withey.

“Snape’s story makes it sound like this is all Remus’ fault, but it’s not like he chose for any of this to happen,” he declared. “Snape didn’t just wander into the tunnel. He never would have found the werewolf if I hadn’t told him how.”

The crowd erupted with whispers, and Walburga Black rose from her seat. “Sirius Orion Black, you will leave this courtroom at once! You have neither reason nor permission to be here, you treacherous boy!” she screamed.

Withey yelled for order. When that was fruitless, she cast a Silencio over the entire courtroom.

“That’s quite enough,” she said. “Mr. Black, it’s apparent you have information relevant to this case. You’ll be called down as a witness when the questioning of the others is finished.” Walburga reached for her wand, but a pointed look from Dumbledore stopped her.

Withey turned back to Severus. “Mr. Snape,” she said, “I may have more questions for you later, but for now, please take your seat. You too, Mr. Black, and no more interruptions.” She lifted the Silencio.

“We’ll now question the defendant in this hearing, Mr. Lupin.” Remus tried to compose himself, conscious of the eyes in the room returning to him. His mind raced – was there was a way to get Sirius out of this now? He’d just have to do his best to avoid incriminating his friends any further.

“Please relate what you remember of the night of April 5th,” Withey said to him.

“I only ever wake up with vague impressions from when I’m transformed. I remember that there was a person there, but not what I did.”

One of the judges sitting besides Withey spoke up. “Did you see Mr. Snape while you were transformed?”

Remus shook his head. “I don’t think so. All I remember is that I – the wolf smelled someone.” He flushed. “And that it was angry because the person escaped.”

“What about before you transformed?” asked the same man. “What did you do that night?”

Remus described how he had gone to Madam Pomfrey’s office at around 5 pm, after classes had finished. As usual, she had cast disillusionment charms on both of them. They went together to the tunnel by the willow, where she opened the tunnel and walked him into the shack.

“She walks all the way in with you?” another judge asked.

Remus nodded. “I always feel ill on the day before my transformations. It’s not so much of an issue now, but when I was younger she wanted to make sure I got into the shack safely.”

“And the opening between the shack and the tunnel is too small for the wolf to fit through?” said Withey.

It wasn’t, quite, he knew from his excursions with his friends. But the wolf had to be calm and willing to wriggle through. Enraged, he wasn’t surprised it had gotten stuck.

“There’s also a trapdoor over the opening,” Remus answered. “I’m sure Snape just forgot to mention it. Everything else he said is a good description of the site."

“Did you or Madam Pomfrey close this door when she left?”

“Yes, I’m sure she did,” he said. “She always does. After she left, I waited for about two hours on the second floor of the shack, until I transformed. Then I woke up the next morning in the hospital wing.”

“Did anything unusual happen while you were waiting for the transformation?” Withey continued.

“No, it was totally quiet. I read a book.” Someone in the crowd snickered. Remus was leery of bringing his textbooks where he could destroy them, but for the past few years he’d used cheap paperbacks to pass the time, hiding them behind or on top of furniture during the night. He’d only lost two so far.

“Did you interact with Mr. Snape that day?” asked the judge on the far right.

“No,” Remus replied. “We had classes together earlier in the day, but we didn’t speak.”

“What’s the last interaction you had with him?” said the same woman.

“We didn’t really talk much. Our groups of friends didn’t really overlap.” That was understating it, but not technically a lie. “I think we were assigned to be partners in class about a week and a half ago – Defense Against the Dark Arts. We only talked as much as we needed to do the assignment.”

“What was your relationship with him like?” she asked.

“There wasn’t much of one. I knew he didn’t like me, so I tried to avoid him.”

“Did you wish him harm?”

“No! No, of course not.”

“Did you know he would try and find you?” the man next to Withey cut in.

“I knew he was curious – he would ask my friends and I where I’d gone sometimes, when I had to miss classes. But I had no idea he’d figure it out, or that he would try anything like he did.”

“Did he ever ask you directly about your condition?”

“He asked me a few times where I’d been. I used the same excuses that I did for everyone else – usually that my mother was sick, but sometimes other family events. I don’t think he believed me, but he never pressed for details.” Usually because James would hex him first, he didn’t add.

“Thank you, Mr. Lupin, that will be all,” said Withey. Remus felt like he should retreat or sit down, but could do neither while tied to the floor– instead he ended up shuffling his feet awkwardly.

Next, Dumbledore was called up to speak. Withey first asked if he’d been aware that Remus was a werewolf upon his admission to Hogwarts. Dumbledore assured her that he had, and then gave a detailed description of the safety procedures he’d set up, noting that the Shrieking Shack was far enough from the school to avoid the restrictions in the law against transforming near children. 

“If not for the highly unusual circumstances leading to Mr. Snape’s entrance to the tunnel,” Dumbledore said, “the house would have met all the Ministry’s requirements for a transformation site. And, as was described, the werewolf was unable to escape through the house’s exit, and no injury to Mr. Snape actually occurred. The risk he was put is of course unfortunate, but I still believe I made the right decision in admitting Remus to Hogwarts. He has as much right to an education as any other young wizard.”

“Were you aware that Remus and his family were not truthfully reporting his transformation site to the Ministry?”

“I was. I suggested that they continue to report that he was transforming at the registered site in their home.”

“And were you aware that this was illegal?”

“Perfectly aware, yes. I believed that in this case morality took precedence over the letter of the law.”

Walburga Black stood up abruptly. “Clearly, Mr. Dumbledore is claiming to be above the law! This is an outrage!” Withey banged a hand loudly on the judge’s bench, but Dumbledore merely smiled.

“Of course not, Mrs. Black. I merely believe that that law is behind the times. If the Wizengamot wishes to press charges against me, I’d be happy to make a full confession and accept whatever penalty they think best.” Withey nodded, and asked Dumbledore to return to his seat.

Madame Pomfrey was briefly questioned afterwards, testifying that she’d made sure every month that he’d begun and ended his transformations safely in the shack. Remus felt a twinge of guilt – several times, he’d been there at dawn only because his friends had hurriedly dragged him back in before she showed up. 

She also confirmed Remus and Dumbledore’s descriptions of the shack, including the trapdoor. When asked if she’d been aware of the legal violations, she admitted that she had, and fiercely defended her belief in Remus’ right to attend school and in his desire not to hurt anyone. Remus was surprised at her emotion, and felt another pang of guilt. She’d always been very professional to him in their monthly meetings. He wouldn’t have predicted she’d speak for him so strongly.

Although Remus could only see the top of Sirius’ head, he could tell the other boy was becoming increasingly restless throughout the questioning. He jumped up immediately once Madame Pomfrey sat down and Withey called him to speak.

“Mr. Black,” she said. “Please describe your role in what happened on the night of the attack.”

“Snape had been snooping around my friends and I for a while, trying to figure out where Remus went when he missed classes. The day it happened, he’d come up and nagged me again, and I told him off for a while, but eventually I got frustrated and told him to go jab the knot on the willow if he wanted to find out. I didn’t think anything would happen – I thought the tree would beat him up and it would be a laugh, or maybe he’d get into the tunnel and hear Remus and get scared. But then I told James about it and he – “

“Who is James?” the judge interrupted.

“James Potter, he’s my friend. Remus’s too. He got really upset when I told him and went running after Snape and pulled him out of the tunnel. Saved your life, you ungrateful git,” he added shooting a look at Snape.

“Mr. Snape, is that true?” asked Withey, turning towards Severus. “You didn’t mention anyone else in the tunnel in your testimony.”

Snape blanched. “I thought it was an unnecessary complication,” he snapped.

“Just answer my question,” Withey returned.

“Yes, Potter pulled me out,” spat Snape. “I’d put my head up through the opening to the shack, and he pulled me down before the wolf got to me. But I have to add that if it hadn’t been for Potter and his friends lying about this monster, I never would have been in danger in the -.”

“Thank you, Mr. Snape,” Withey cut him off, as the crowd murmured. She turned back to Sirius.

“Why did you know where Mr. Lupin was? Or that he was a werewolf, for that matter?”

“I found out in our second year. We were close friends, and James and I wondered where he went all the time, and eventually we figured it out. After a while we talked him into telling us where he transformed and all that.” He paused. “He never would have said anything if we hadn’t pressed him. And this was the first time anything bad has happened, and it was my fault, not his. No one would have been in danger if I hadn’t been so dumb.”

“All right, Mr. Black,” said Withey. “Please sit down. I think we have enough information now to make a decision. As you’ll recall, there are two charges in this case. First, violation of Article Two of the Werewolf Codes, the Prohibition against Endangering Humans. All in favor of conviction, raise your hands.” 

Only of the judges did so, the man and woman furthest to the left. “Charge dismissed,” Withey announced. Remus let himself feel some relief; this was the really serious charge, the one that could lead to Azkaban or execution.

“The second charge. Violation of Article 14, Requirements for Transformation Sites,” the judge continued. “All in favor of conviction?” This time all five people at the bench raised their hands.

Withey nodded. “Guilty. Mr. Lupin, in light of your age and circumstances, the imprisonment portion of your sentence will be removed. However, you are required to undergo all transformations for the next year at a Ministry facility, you must disclose your status and record to anyone living within 500 meters of your home, within a month of your taking up residence, for the next five years, and you are forbidden from returning to Hogwarts grounds.”


	22. Chapter 22

The ropes around Remus’ wrists vanished as the man who’d walked him in flicked his wand. The young werewolf stood numbly for a moment. He was free to go, but to where? Although he’d spent nights when he was younger imagining in painstaking detail all the ways he could be removed from Hogwarts, it didn’t seem quite real now that it had happened. The room seemed suddenly too full of strangers; a camera flash from one of the reporters made him wince. He knew there were people here he could approach – his parents, Dumbledore, Sirius – but he couldn’t make himself start walking towards them. The idea seemed absurd.

He saw his mother coming down to him, as most of the crowd moved to file out the courtroom door. Suddenly, the attention of everyone remaining was drawn by a screech from Walburga Black.

“Blood-traitor!” she screamed in Sirius’ face. “Mingler with beasts! You are no son of mine!”

“Good!” he yelled back. “If what I did is a betrayal to you, I don’t want to be your son anymore! I hate you, and I hate everything you believe in!”

“You will not return to my home!” Walburga hissed. “You will not contact me or my family again.” She turned and strode out of the room, pushing past a skinny wizard next to the door.

The crowd hurried out after she’d left, silent and uncomfortable, except for a witch with a large notepad scribbling frantically in the corner. Sirius dropped his head, shaking with rage.

Remus’ mother, briefly distracted by the scene between the Blacks, pulled her attention away and closed the remaining distance between her and her son. She enfolded Remus in a long hug. His father followed her and stood nearby, giving Remus a quick hug as well once she’d let go.

“Oh, Remus,” Silvia said, “I’m so sorry.” Looking him firmly in the eyes, she added, “You’ll come home with us tonight. We can worry about what comes after later.”

“I shouldn’t,” Remus replied, shooting a look at his father. “It won’t be safe for you and Dad.” 

“Don’t worry about that now,” John said. “You’re our son. Come home.”

Remus nodded, warmth bursting in his chest. His father pulled him into a longer hug, and whispered in his ear. “I made a mistake before. Stay as long as you need to.”

As his father released him, Remus saw Sirius standing across the room, looking utterly lost. Silvia followed her son’s gaze, and called out to him. 

“Sirius! Do you need help getting back to school? You’re welcome to come home with us and use our Floo. Or you could stay the night, if Dumbledore’s all right with it.”

Remus stepped forward. “Please do. It would be good to have you there.”

Sirius’ face lit up. “You’re not mad at me?”

“I – I never really was,” Remus answered. “I owe you an apology.”

If Sirius had possessed a tail at the moment, it would have wagged. Instead, his face split into a relieved grin. “Course you don’t,” he said. “I really screwed things up for you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Remus quietly. “Or maybe it does, but it matters more that you’re my friend. If we have to talk about it, we’ll talk about it later.”

Sirius nodded, and pulled the other boy into a tight hug. The two left the courtroom along with Remus’ parents. After a quick stop to pick up Remus’ things from the jail, they headed for home.

\-------------

When they arrived, they found Dumbledore waiting outside the house. 

“Headmaster!” said Silvia. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“I’ve stopped by to speak to Remus,” he said with a smile. “I thought he’d to go through his options now, instead of having time to worry.”

“Yes, of course”, said Silvia. “Come in! Everyone sit down in the living room and I’ll make us some tea.”

Once they were all settled in and holding mugs of tea, Dumbledore said, “First of all, Mr. Lupin and Mr. Black,” nodding to Remus and Sirius, “you have my respect. It’s a hard thing to ask for justice in a world that often has far too little.”

“I won’t dance around why I’m here,” he continued. “I’ve come to talk to you about the choices you have available now.”

“There don’t seem to be very many,” said Remus. “My name is public, so I have almost no chance of getting a job with wizards, even the ones I could do without graduating school.”

“I’m afraid that’s probably true, but you do have a few more options than that,” said Dumbledore. “If you want to finish your education, you might study at home for the year and then attempt your NEWTs at an off-campus site. You could also apply to one of the schools on the continent – I could put in a good word for you with the headmasters. If you’re willing to work in the Muggle world, I’m sure your mother could help you get set up.” He paused. “Alternatively, I’ve been looking for assistance with some personal projects of mine. I might be able to employ you on them after you come of age.”

“I’m of age now,” said Remus. “My birthday was about a month ago. But you’ve done so much for me already…”

“You’d be doing me a favor,” Dumbledore replied. “There may be dark times ahead, and that keeps us all busy. But we can discuss it later. For now, I’ll leave you to your family.” He stood up. “And Mr. Black, I’ll expect you back at Hogwarts tomorrow morning before the start of classes.”

Sirius nodded, and the Lupins thanked the Headmaster as he smiled and left their home. 

\------------------

Later, after they’d all drunk their tea, Remus and Sirius headed upstairs. The time with Remus’s parents had been a bit awkward – they’d made some small talk with Sirius, but no one could find much to say about the day’s events.

“So,” Sirius began once they’d sat down on Remus’s bed. “Wonder what those personal projects of Dumbledore’s are?” He looked oversized and out of place in the small room, fingering one of the rows of children’s books on the bedside shelves.

“I’ve got no idea,” replied Remus. “I’m not sure how much I could do for him if I can’t go to Hogwarts grounds.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of weird. Maybe he’ll have you off traveling or something. ‘There may be dark times ahead…’ Way to be cryptic and exciting. You’ll have to tell me when he lets you know.” Sirius paused. “I mean, if you want to. You’re really not angry at me?”

“I’m really not angry,” said Remus. “I was a little, for a while, but you’re too important for me to stay mad at you. Especially not after what you did today. And even at first, I didn’t want to stay away from you. Your brother told me that you might get disowned for being friends with me, and I wanted to make sure that didn’t happen. Not that that worked out very well.” 

“I’m glad to be out,” said Sirius. “It was only a matter of time. But anyway, you shouldn’t have to worry about that! Especially not after how I fucked everything up for you.”

“You’ve known me for how long?” said Remus. “Of course I’m going to worry. And it was a matter of time for me too. There was no way I was going to make it through seven years. I still can’t believe it lasted as long as it did.”

“It shouldn’t be like that though,” said Sirius. “It’s not fair, you’re a better wizard than most of the grade. And you would have made it if I hadn’t ruined it for you.”

“There’s no point thinking about that though. It is how it is, and I’m not mad at you.” He paused. “And I should say thank you for today. You shouldn’t have done it, but I think it did help a lot.”

“It was really the least I could do,” said Sirius bitterly. 

There was a knock on the bedroom door. “Remus?” said Silvia. “Your other friends are here.” James and Peter came spilling in, James talking almost as soon as the door opened.

“I can’t believe they expelled you! It’s obscene! Dad said the judge was good too, I don’t know what happened. Anyway, Dumbledore just told us – he called us up to his office and was like ‘hint, hint, I’m going downstairs now, I’m sure you’ll go too and not use this Floo powder I’ve left out on my desk’.”

“It could have been a lot worse,” Remus said quietly. “I’ve still got options. I’ll figure something out.”

“It’ll be so weird being at Hogwarts without you,” said James. “It’s been the four of us all the time since first year… Won’t feel right.”

“It’ll be weird being here when I know school’s going on,” said Remus. “At least it won’t be for long at first. Sirius, do you know what you’ll do over the summer?”

“I guess I’ll see if I can stay with James, or Uncle Alphard. Or I wonder if I have enough money to rent a place. Oh! Could I visit you for part of it, if your parents are ok with it?”

“Wait, what?” James interrupted. Sirius, rather colorfully, filled him and Peter in on what had happened with Walburga.

When he’d finished, Remus responded, “I’d love if you visited, but it’s probably not the best idea. I’m already imposing on my parents a lot by coming back here.”

He wondered if they’d have to move again. They were in a Muggle neighborhood, but their address was on record for the Floo network, and the trial must have had some publicity. It would take some work, but it wasn’t impossible that someone would track them down. 

He’d have to leave before then – he couldn’t put his family in danger like that. And his sister would never forgive him if she had to change schools again. Where could he go though? It wasn’t like he had money for an apartment yet. He’d have to find a job as soon as possible, and probably move into a Muggle area. It had been years since he’d interacted with Muggles outside his family for any significant amount of time – could he even pass any more?

The room, already cramped to start with, felt claustrophobic. His friends were too close to him, watching as he fidgeted with the edge of the bedsheet. “Let’s go outside,” he said abruptly. “There’s a park a few blocks away.”

They let his parents know they were heading out, and walked over. It was a beautiful day, the late afternoon sunshine still warm. Remus wasn’t sure who started running first, but they wound up racing each other to the park, collapsing on the grass in a heap like they’d done so many times before. They had the place to themselves; might have had the whole world to themselves for all he could tell.

“This is great!” said Sirius. “Why’d you never tell us this was right by your house?”

“Because you always want to go to the cinema instead when you visit me,” said Remus. “I came here a lot when I was a kid.”

“What if we just stay here forever?” said James. “Put up tents? Sirius can forage for food, and Peter can scare off the Muggles.”

“Nah, that’s your job,” said Sirius with a grin. “Just wave your morning bedhead at them.”

“I’d stay here,” said Remus. “All it needs is a lake and it’ll be just like Hogwarts grounds. Minus the death forest, so even better.”

“I’ve never understood your problem with the Forbidden Forest,” said Sirius. “Best part of Hogwarts. Don’t regret a moment I’ve spent there.”

“Didn’t you almost get eaten by a vampire once?” said Peter.

“Yeah, that was great! I’ve told you, it wasn’t a vampire though. What’d they be doing hanging around in the woods?”

“Still think it was Snape,” said James. Then, to Remus’s surprise, he flushed and shook his head. “What if we really did move in together though? Got an apartment somewhere. The three of us couldn’t stay there permanently until next year, but we could get the place set up.”

“That’d be brilliant!” said Sirius. “Marauders forever.”

Remus knew he should be the voice of reason here. He didn’t know how he’d pay his share, he’d make them all targets, he’d limit where they could live, could they handle an apartment together when they had to do their own dishes… He bit it all back.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “Marauders forever.”

The conversation drifted after that – the cool things they’d have in the apartment, the best times they’d had at Hogwarts, exactly how gross it would be if Padfoot did go foraging for food. That last turned into a wrestling match that left them all sprawled on the grass again, exhausted and happy.

“Should we head back to your parents’?” asked James. 

“Let’s stay here just a little longer,” Remus answered. The day was turning into evening, and it was starting to get cold, but there was still a little sunlight on his face. His friends were around him, and he’d survived his worst nightmare. The future could wait for a little bit longer.

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it friends! Thanks for reading.


End file.
